Meeting a stranger

Today is the fourth anniversary of the best phone call I have ever received. So many things have changed since that day so long ago. It happened at a time in my life where I was confused about alot of things, and going through a major change in lifestyle. I had just moved out of home, sharing a flat with the roomate from hell, a life time friendship that eventually went waywardly wrong. I was living out of boxes as I hadn’t unpacked anything but curtains for the new place, and was adjusting to doing my own laundry, cooking and trying to ignore my flatmate as best I could. I had broken up with a jerk few weeks previously, for the last time, and I had sworn off him and every other male on the planet.

Four years ago my phone rang one Saturday afternoon and I answered just as I was getting out the bath, tripping over the mat, hopping around as I tried to save the towel from landing on the floor and answering breathlessly before the call got cut (I used to hate missing calls, probably because I hated listening to my voicemail even more). A deep male Afrikaans voice comes through looking for a Schalk. I explained that I knew no Schalk and he most certainly wasn’t with me. The voice apologises and says that if I do perhaps get to know a Schalk at any point, please could I ask him to ring Jaun back. I promise solemnly to do so.

Expecting the call to end, I was quite surprised when he said ‘So if your name is not in fact Schalk, what is it?’ I told him my name was top secret and that I was very important in my part of the country. Lame, I know, but shit man, I couldn’t think of anything else! He laughed and said it was a coincidence because he was too and then asked why I was echoing. In a very deep, husky and sexy voice I divulged that I’d jumped out the bath to answer and that I was actually in my bathroom, naked. This set the conversation in a totally different direction, and we eventually end the call twenty minutes later laughing our heads off.

I have to admit that it wasn’t often I spent my afternoons naked in my bathroom chatting into my phone to random guys from Johannesburg that I’d never met before, especially not about my naked state or that I was about to search in boxes to find underwear that I hadn’t unpacked yet. But hey, what can I say, I’m an out going girl and find it easy to talk to most people. What I didn’t expect was an SMS two hours later from Jaun the Afrikaaner; ‘Trust you eventually found some underwear. Thanks for the chat. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we ended the call.’ Naturally I replied (it would be rude if I hadn’t) ‘yes, thanks, I did scrounge some up. Feel free to dial the wrong number some time soon again. Girl with the top secret name.’

That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, folks. The smses didn’t stop from there on in, he called me twice a day. I eventually told him my name a week later, after he convinced me that it wasn’t fair he knew so many other things about my personal life but not my name. We’d also fallen into a habit of updating eachother whenever anything interesting happened. Well, even the uninteresting things like ‘I just kicked my toe open, poor me huh?’ and he would reply with ‘ag* thats nothing, I just hit my thumb with a hammer, toughen up’. About three weeks later, Jaun called me one night and asked me to send him a picture. I said I would most certainly not, that was even more top secret, and he said as soon as the call ended, he was sending me one whether I wanted it or not. When my phone beeped, my heart fell to my left foot and I felt all fluttery inside as I gazed at the most gorgeous Afrikaans looking face I had ever seen. Seriously, he was hot! I sent him one back and he called me immediately, making me swear that it was me and not some random photo I had copied. I had to prove it by sending him another one, with my finger up my left nostril. He had to do the same for me, but crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out. Yes, I know, it was gorgeous wasn’t it, this relationship we had struck up?

Exactly one month to the day of the random wrong number call, he booked a flight to come and meet me. I was a nervous wreck. I spent two days vomiting out my lungs, liver and spleen. He caught a cab from the airport to the coffee shop we had agreed on to officially meet. We decided we’d do that as it was nearby the bus stop just in case he needed to leave immediately if it turned out as badly as we expected it to (such positive people we were). Two hours after his arrival, we’d hugged and touched each other like long lost and reunited friends. I decided the first thing we had to do was get him to the beach since he was a vaalie and didn’t live anywhere near the ocean. The BnB he had booked into was right around the corner too. Jeans and all, we kicked off our shoes, threw off jackets and ran down to the shoreline. Three hours later, we went to my place (I had decided by then that he wasn’t the psychopath or serial killer he promised he was) and ordered in some pizza. We stayed there for two days. He didn’t even get to see the BnB! Every time I got up to go anywhere, he’d grab me by my arm and pull me down back to the make shift bed we’d made in order to watch dvd’s. For the entire weekend, we had not, literally, been more than a metre away from eachother.

It was like a holiday romance, all squished into three days. I was completely in love, hooked with line and sinker included, as was he. On the Monday when he had to fly back I cried buckets, and he sort of sat there like an idiot hugging me not letting me see his eyes were misted over. Three weeks later he came down again, two weeks later I flew up to him, four weeks later we met in the middle of nowhere for a weekend away and sort of (snigger at this word) “consumated” our relationship. We both plumeted every spare cent we had into the next possible weekend we could have together. I was more broke than I had ever been in my life, yet I lived on love alone, and spent every spare moment I had, on the phone with Jaun. I was never more miserable or happy.

Roughly a year later Jaun and I co-ordinated our annual leave together, and he came down for three weeks. We decided that this would probably be the end of us as we had never had so much time together before and this would surely be the time where we’d find out eachothers ugly side and bad habits and he would most likely end up flying back home sooner, deleting my number the same time I would delete his. Ha! Fifteen nights later, we sat on the beach just as the sun was setting, drinking cheap rose wine, and as I lay with my head in his lap, Jaun proposed to me while I was gazing up his left nostril. I nearly choked to death on the amount of spit that had suddenly arrived in my mouth. Of all the things, I had never expected this. We hadn’t even discussed marriage! I had always presumed we’d have great sex while being together, keep in touch in between and eventually the whole thing would fizzle out as we moved on with our respective lives. I thought he was in the same place of thought as I was. But you know what thought did, right? Thought planted a feather in the sand and thought a chicken would grow…

To Be Continued.


  1. cathjenkin says:

    Wah! Typical twin power action!

    Hi Im looking up your nostril.
    Will you marry me?
    Im sorry i have a lot of spit in my mouth.


  2. leez says:

    Wow. wow and just wow some more. That sounds beautiful. Guess you guys had a real connection.

    What happenes next?


  3. shebee says:

    Cath – *high fives you*

    Leez – The connection was definitely there from the first minute, never experienced anything like it.

  4. Tamara says:

    Hi Sheebee. I’m new to your blog. I was at the Bloggirls lunch yesterday and Sweets and Angel kept talking about how awesome you are, so I had to come and investigate. So glad I did – what a fascinating story. Can’t wait to read more.

  5. shebee says:

    Hi Tamara!

    Those two head my fan club – lol, but I’m president of theirs too. They’re awesome, right? Did Angel make you pose for pictures? Did Sweets smoke up a storm? Hehehe.

    Welcome, here – I’m off to stalk you now, you’ll be sorry 🙂

  6. SwissTwist says:

    Fantastic story, I’m at the edge of my seat waiting for part 2. Write, darn it, write!

    Greetings from the land of cheese, chocolate and cows…

  7. betenoir says:

    finish the story, woman. it’s important!

    mind you, i had a very similar story, only it ended with him being a pathalogical liar and weirdo who dumped me and got engaged a month later. I hope that’s not what happened to you. If it did, lie maybe?

  8. Amy says:

    I’m pretty sure i’ve heard this fairytale before Sheens, but i dont remember exactly how it ends. So get on with part two….

  9. shebee says:

    Yes my love – exactly one year ago 🙂

    Hehehe. Loyalest reader you are.

    Please resend me your link, i’ve lost my entire blogroll.

  10. Ashleigh (I have great boobs!) says:

    That was a tatal let down you stopping the story right there!!

    It’s like gettting an erection and then forgetting about it!!

    Come on now were’s part two!!!

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