Life status: A+

I am very happy with where my life is going these days. I have a permanent job that I absolutely LOVE doing, and willingly work 12 hour days mostly. It’s exhausting and stressful and there is loads of pressure on me, but a few things have gone right and it looks like expanding the Social Media department at Aqua is a go. Yay me! I’m also lucky enough to have the best chick in the world joining me in becoming the second half of the team, I couldn’t be more stoked.

Winter is most definitely on its way. Oh my word. I think I love the person who invented under floor heating and winter blankets. I’m even wearing socks to bed these days and I miss the nights the felines decide to not sleep in my bed – they’re like little balls of fluff and warmth.

Last night Jon and I decided to touch base and go on a date. Three days after going away together. We just like each other’s company, man. It’s so cool. I’m loving being a girlfriend.

My parents are going through a divorce. It’s one thing to go through this as a child, I remember the sadness surrounding our home when my dad left. But going through this as an adult is even worse, this time round I’m old enough to know what my mom is going through, and I’ve become her sounding board which I don’t mind at all, it just makes me so sad for her. I feel constantly guilty that I’m not close enough to cheer her up or distract her from the reality that is an impending broken home. Again. It hurts me that she’s hurting. My baby brother isn’t dealing with this whole thing well at all. And to be honest, I’m sad that the most secure place I ever had as a child was in their home which is now about to be torn apart. How selfish of me, I know. My mom’s life is turned upside down and I’m sad that I won’t be able to sit at the tree we planted for Kiera ever again without feeling uncomfortable.

I keep thinking that I should be there, with my mom, like I always have been. But at the same time, like she said when she came up a few weeks ago, it’s giving her the chance to be an adult for the first time in her life. For years, all I wanted was to be left alone to do my own thing. For my mom, that is a living nightmare. But each day I speak to her and I can hear she’s getting stronger, more independent, coping better. It doesn’t take away her heart break, but my one wish for her is that she can learn who she is.

And I wish that she would stop dealing with her sadness by spending money on Bid or Buy. Truly. And now she’s discovered a chat site and is speaking to random filthy men from god knows where. It’s just not cool man, she’s too fragile to go through the up’s and down’s that is the online world of internet dating. She’s such a beautiful person, inside and out. I wish she would just believe that more, and trust herself to be okay without the presence or approval of others.

She deserves happiness and independence and confidence. I hope that she’ll believe that too sometime soon.

5 comments

  1. Caz says:

    So sorry to hear about your folks. That really does suck. *hugs and strength for your mom*
    Woman are incredible though and she will of course be ok. But still… it can’t be easy. sorry for your boet too πŸ™

    Glad all is well in the love life!!

  2. Angel says:

    Aw I’m so sorry your mommy darling is having a hard time.
    I am super stoked for your job babe- so proud of you!!

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