Life change in motion.

I think the biggest thing I’ve been craving is life change. I’ve certainly started on the right track.

I’m doing things I’ve never expected to do. Moving to Jhb being the one thing, for instance. When Jaun and I broke up it was because of the distance. I refused to move here and he couldn’t move to Natal, after a year of long distance, we called it a day.

Fast forward a couple of years and here I am. 8 hours driv e from my home town, lying in bed at 1 am in the morning trying to figure out what thoughts woke me up exactly.

Its freezing on the farm. Winter hasn’t even struck yet and I’m under two thick covers, a vest and a thick jersey, tights, jarmie pants and a pair of wooly socks later, my nose is numb its so cold. Yet I’m strangely not miserable.

I’ve reunited with my puppy, Tiger, and she’s snuggled into my boobs like she did the day I got her and I’m thinking to myself, life is weird. The curve balls I’ve taken over the last few things should serve as a reasoning in my existance yet I’m not quite certain what they are.

All I know is, I’m working half day for Jax, refocusing on my writing career and starting up yoga and pilates again with all the mommies from the private school down the road. Jax is trying to convince me to do horse riding with her, but after the last time I came pipe off a Stallion I’m a bit nervous hey…

I’ve left 90% of my belongings back at my moms and I’m wondering if its worth getting them up here or if I should just take the opportunity to go in a whole new direction and re-buy everything in a new style. Maybe to go with the porno red carpets and the red retro fridge from the 70’s in my new cottage. There’s a lot of red in my life lately.

I dunno. Either way I’m looking forward to getting started on this new journey. Life of rustic bliss at the Amish Funny Farm, my new home.

I miss my friends though. I miss Tiff in Thailand and Britt and her kiddies. And mostly I miss Flea, we’ve spent so much time together lately, its weird not having her 5 minutes away for a quick gulp of fermented grape and gossip. Plus, she knows my secrets. And talking about your secrets with one of your best mates in the world is sorely underrated.

Also. I just swallowed Geranium oil instead of liquid Myprodol. I am awesome incarnate.

There’s so much ‘beginnings and unknowns’ here. I’m a little afraid, I won’t lie. And that never happens to me.

Is it possible to be homesick so soon? Even if its not so much the place as it is the feeling you get when you are there?


  1. stalker says:

    Dude yep homesickness can strike at anytime trust me and it does not seem to go away, just keep your self busy until you feeling a bit more comfy in yr new surrounds, distraction the key to everything I tell you!!

    Man I still have not signed my new contract here and I only have a week to go if they screw me over I might be home next week that means a big budget party whoop whoop

  2. cath says:

    Ja fucker i miss you too.

    Whats with all the red? we’re both doing it. Yell when you get orange curtains.

    love you. youre doing the right thing. for you!


  3. Scott says:

    I read somewhere (I’m crap at remembering where, but I promise it’s true!) that it takes about six months for your mind to adjust to sleeping in a new place.
    The best part of relocating is the freshness of everything. I vote that you start over- leave the stuff at your moms, and reinvent a bit.
    Besides, you may be isolated geographically, but unless you go offline, everyone is in your face.
    Well done, brave girl.

  4. sass says:

    welcome to jozi – also known as popsicle city! i also have porno red cupboards in my kitchen! maybe we need to start a support group.

  5. SheBee says:

    Thank you darlings. I’m cold still but I’m sure I’ll get used to it and into the swing of things over the next few days.


  6. angel says:

    Holy crapperpoodle Shebeeliciousness… geranium oil!?!??!
    I am so glad I wasn’t drinking anything right then because it would have been coming out of my nose!
    I am SUPERhappy you’re back up here, and I really hope to see more of you.

  7. Po says:

    I think it is a good sign that the homesickness blues arrived so soon, it means you will be over it soon. And it is not tooooooo far away…

  8. flarkus says:

    You’re uber-lucky to have found a lilypad on a farm that’s not too far from the big city, from where you can launch your new life. Stop stressing and enjoy the exciting changes. Make loads of new friends, then have a huge get-together for the old and the new.

  9. candles says:

    i didn’t know we even had farms in joburg… glad that you’ve found one to live on though… and hope you find what it is that you’re looking for. welcome to your second home… it will soon feel like that, promise.

  10. jubs says:

    my little sheebeeness

    I miss you already! thanks heavens you taught some of that technological stuffs that noe let me keep in touch πŸ™‚

    Best of luck with your new path babe πŸ™‚


  11. Stalker says:

    Hey I stalk you too Jubs

    Miss you girl cant wait to see you only 197 days to go whoop whoop

    Me the stalker in thailand

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