Last night a DJ saved my life.

Went to an exclusive underground party in Newtown last night. The hoburg CBD is a complete clusterfuck at the moment with the Muncipal workers being on strike. Aside from avoiding rubbish in the roads, the dodgy people in the streets made me feel like I was on a xbox gaming mission to avoid zombies or something.


Kelly. About a meter away. I could smell her. It was nice.

Smelt Kelly Rowlands up close and in person. She’s awesome. You know who that is right, the former Destiny’s Child singer? The one who sang that song “I love you, I need you” with Nelly. She’s also singing a hit track now for South Africa along with other SA artists. Before that I saw Jozi perform.


Jozi doing their thang.

What a weird little hip hop group. Complete with shades and hoodies, they jumped around broomsticks on stage, very energetic I must say.

There was some short little blonde chick shaking her ass not 20cm in front of my face. While most people would get up and move, I declared war on her ass and refused to budge from my comfy spot leaning up against the wall, sitting on the floor. I lost. Eventually the hips and the “Aaaaaaaaaaaa, squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s and omg!’s” got to me and I had to vacate the space bubble I’d let be invaded. Energetic, bum shaking in my face annoying little blonde girl!


Me on the yellow carpet entrance. With a free goodies bag.

The press was insane. I had to wrestle my way to the front of the stage, but I got that right at least. Met a hottie from People Magazine. What’s up, Grant! Felt like a tool when I realised all the kiff food was for free, I’d grabbed a Woolies sarmie on my way to the event.

Oh yes! And I got chased by a car on my way home. Dude followed me all the way from Beyers Naude drive right into my ‘burb. I eventually shook him loose by accidentally nearly slamming into the back of an ADT Security convention in the middle of the road. I was too relieved to be pissed at the dudes for convening in the middle of my neighbourhood for a midnight meet and greet. And they then escorted me up the drive way and promised to keep an eye out for any car that followed me in the area. Sigh.

Life in Hoburg. It’s dangerous, exciting, fun and thrilling all at the same time.


  1. Tara says:

    Goodies bag. What. Was. In. It? Wasting all that time talking about some girl who’s not as famous as that other child of Destiny and forgetting to mention the free shit 😛

  2. Shebee says:

    Flea – MY MOM!! Dude, you know she’s skinnier than me now? Sigh.

    Tara – okay, solly bru. The free shiz:
    – One times SA Soccer jersey
    – A kiff soccer fan hat thingie
    – A CD featuring the song I mentioned above
    – Awesome gold earplug speaker thingamyjigs

    Plus unlimited cocktails, booze, drinks and food platters to rival 5 star hotels.

  3. Angel says:

    I’m so glad you’re okay after your late night stalker dash…
    At least now you know the food will be free next time!!

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