Jerm Warfare, family reunions & an alternate ending to Gravity

I don’t have too much time to sit and give you a proper update but I had a few minutes spare while something downloads and I thought I’d use this time to say a few things:

My aunt and uncle have arrived home from New Zealand for the first time in 7 years, for a holiday.  They spent the weekend with us and Jon couldn’t stop staring at me, then my aunt, then me again.  More so whenever either of us opened our mouths.  He is convinced that I get all of my quirks from Laina, and I tend to agree.  It was lovely and I cannot wait for her 50th in a few weeks time down in Durban where I get to reunite with the rest of my crazy family too.  It was also very special for me to have heart to heart catch ups with my uncle too.  I forgot how wonderful and kind and loving and supportive he is, and to have some affirmation from him on where I am in life was so rewarding.  Sigh.  Happy heart.

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I watched Gravity with Jon and Bergen the other day and I’ve come up with an alternative ending to the movie, because although everything that could go wrong up in space did, I feel like it could’ve done a bit better and wasn’t nearly ridiculous enough.  So, here’s my version of how it should’ve ended [potential spoiler alert for those who haven’t seen the movie yet.  Skip over the bullet points if you’re one of them]:

  • Sandra should’ve picked George up on the way down, no matter how unrealistic
  • They should’ve downed that vodka, no question
  • As the pocket rocket caught alight, Sandra should’ve ejected herself out of the seat and into the ocean
  • As she drops into the water, sharks are circling, licking their lips in anticipation
  • Just as the sharks are about to take a chunk out of her leg, CrocNado springs up out of nowhere and takes on the sharks
  • Sandra drags herself to shore while CrocNado and the sharks have an epic battle which will surely spawn at least 3 movies
  • Sitting on shore, she discovers the island she landed on is from Life of Pi.  You know, the one where the island eats living things.  Like bones.
  • She drags a few skulls around to form the letters ‘H E L P’ which immediately works with the first chopper that flies over
  • Filled with absolute relief on being rescued, Sandra looks around to her saviours who are all dressed in combative army gear armed to their teeth with nuclear weapons
  • Gazing along the ocean, Sandra realised that they’re heading for a warzone
  • The chopper lands, Sandra is sold for her silky hair and bum chin to a Sheik from the movie Taken, and discarded to the Sheik’s henchmen when they discover her virginity was lost years ago
  • The End.

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Speaking of weird creativity and odd brainwaves, I have a friend named Jeremy who is quite famous.  You guys know me, I don’t like to name drop (Jeremy Nell, Jeremy Nell, Jeremy Nell) but aside from the fact that I’m quite fond of him and his beautiful wife, he’s actually an awesome cartoonist.  So awesome that New Age fired him as political cartoonist for being too, wait for it, political.  Also he is the first cartoonist to do things for TV.  And newspaper and even radio.  Yep.  Clever, hey?  Anyway, I’d really like to recommend that you to all go out and buy his brand new book.  It’s published through Penguin and everything like some kind of real adult.  His book is called Jerm Warfare and features award-winning cartoons that he’s done over the years.  Simply put, he is amazing and also when I see him on Thursday for coffee he is going to autograph my copy and is also buying said coffee.

Buy Jerm’s book here.

 

PS: I’m proud of you, Talfer.  Wi-five.

4 comments

  1. Jeanette says:

    Sounds like you’re going to need to do a New Zealand trip soon!
    Can’t relate to the movie thing, haven’t been to an adult movie at the movies in far too many years

  2. Jeannie says:

    Hey Hunny,
    Thanks for the spoiler alert! Nearly continued reading (skimmed over) but will deffo watch the movie and then comment on your alternate ending xxx

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