It’s about the marriage, not the wedding.

Cheesy or not, I don’t care, today I woke up and realised that it’s 15 sleeps until I get to marry the man of my dreams.  It’s funny how everyone’s got an opinion on weddings, I’m finding the most common thing is for people to absolutely make sure I know that I shouldn’t spend all my time focusing on the wedding, but rather I should realise it’s the marriage that matters most.  As if I hadn’t realised.

It’s the marriage that I’m ecstatic about.  I’ve said before I never imagined myself as a married woman – the concept was just so foreign to me.  At first I felt like I’d never find anyone who would pick me to spend the rest of their life with.  And then it became a whole lot more about me thinking I would never find someone I would pick to dedicate the rest of my years to.  I couldn’t ever see myself not getting bored with someone.  I always pictured myself on the bench at 84, wrinkled yet full of energy, and next to me was always one of my girlfriends.  We’d drink wine and be merry and scare younger men as they walked on by.  I never stopped to think it would be a man.

Until I met Jon.  That day, almost 5 years ago now, sitting in his car on our way back from a Durban road trip, I just knew.  I remember distinctly promising my mom before he picked me up from her house, that I wouldn’t be mean to him and test him, I’d give the Jewish boy a chance.  I wouldn’t scare him away on purpose.  I’d let things go and I wouldn’t force anything.  I’d let him be the driving force, and I wouldn’t try control everything like I always have.

And before I knew it, a few weeks later I had a boyfriend who was normal, polite, well read, educated and exciting all at the same time.  He introduced me to a new way of life, one without drama, deceit or sadness.  Everything just worked.  Five years later, I still find myself waiting  for the other shoe to drop.  It’s like it’s too easy.  I’ve struggled all my life (this is not meant to be a ‘oh poor me’ post, I promise) and I kind of got used to it.  Except that after I met Jon, things in life just got easier.  I found my dream career, I met new friends very easily, I felt more comfortable in my skin than I ever had.  And I’m not saying it’s all his doing, but a bit of it is.  He’s given me a safe bubble where I could go out and explore, experiment, try new things, meet new people, and more importantly, he’s encouraged me all the way.

It also helps that his smile makes my tummy do back flips and that he is funny as hell.

I really did win the jackpot.

So for me, it might seem as if I’m only focusing on the wedding day, and I am.  But it’s because it’ll be the first official day I get to say I’m his wife, for the rest of my life.  So the wedding is kind of worth focusing on, because that’s the day we solidify our mutual weirdness forever and ever, and that’s pretty fucking cool.


3d movie cowboygirl us at wedding low res sheen jon spiderman shirt madagascar jon sheen grc jon bday 34 engaged photo



  1. Kate Kearney says:

    Guess what – it’s your wedding day and every single thing leading up to it, and on the day itself is about you (and Jon…but just a bit;))

    Loved this post – enjoy every second of the last 15 days x

  2. Momma Bear says:

    I prayed for you for so many years to find the other part of you and I knew when I picked you up that day you had fallen in love. It was the look in your eyes, your smile when I teased you. As only your Momma Bear can I knew in my deepest heart you had met your other unique half. I have watched both of you over the last few years and I have never seen a more compatible couple who have grown so beautifully together yet independently. Your romance has taught me so much about what relationships are supposed to be. I thank God every day that you two found each other because he is your true one and guess what? You are his true one. He is as lucky as you are. Molly gets a beautiful woman who treasures her son and I get a beautiful son who adores and loves my beautiful girl. I speak for Molly, Bazil, Peter, Trace, Kevin, and myself when I say thank you to God and to this life of ours and the Universe for bringing you and Jon together. Not one of us have ever doubted you two. The anticipation of the 5 year wait has been worth it. My baby girl you make me so proud as to the adult you have become and the wonderful man you decided to give a chance to. Thank you both for opening your hearts to each other and growing together so beautifully. You are both so perfect in my eyes. I can not wait for this day and to be involved in watching you and Jon living your dreams. Oh and giving lots of little Jewish Christian babies. Lots please. I love you both very deeply. Sorry it is a ” finding emo” response. I am one very happy excited Momma Bear.

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