I’m a country song

Today I have been shit out of luck.  Today I was reminded of the time I was forced to give my beloved pair of Sun Conure birds (named Left and Right) to someone who ended up committing sewerage-pipe a week later.

Today, I felt like I was basically a walking country song, minus the Taylor Swift bangs and blue eyes.


I accidentally used my personal credit card to make an online purchase instead of using the work credit card.  The amount wasn’t small either, we’re talking just over R7000.  SEVEN THOUSAND RAND, PEOPLE.  Although I’m being refunded, it’s going to take up to 5 working days apparently.  Which means that for the next 5 days my car better run on the smell of an oil rag, I’ll inhale my smokes extra slowly and any date nights will be on Jon.

Then I tripped down the stairs over my long dress.

And then I emailed an email reminder I thought I’d addressed to myself on how I needed to buy lady things.  It wasn’t addressed to me, obviously.  It went to a random ex colleague.  Who was very confused and perturbed on why I needed him of all people to purchase lady things on my behalf.  And also how was he going to get them to me and had I moved back to Durban, he asked.

And now I’ve spilled yogurt all down the front of my dress (on account of how I couldn’t order in a proper lunch because, hello empty bank account).

And to top it all off, when I asked a supplier over the phone to address a package as “for Sheena”, she has spent the rest of today emailing me, insisting that my name is “Foshina”!


I think I need to go lie down.



  1. Mom says:

    Oh my Fifi not a good day, go soak in some bubbles and steal a glass of BEJ’s sweet wine (yes in your tiny shot glass … with you that seems enough to do the trick) and relax.

  2. Louisa says:

    Mwahaha! Sorry for laughing but that is just too much bad luck for one day. I especially snorted at your email gone wrong bit…again, sorry. I can highly recommend the Out of Milk app for all your shopping list needs – you can even sync it with another user if there are two people buying off the same list at different times.

    Hope today goes much better for you and that you get your refund pronto!

  3. Alet says:

    You made me laugh – like actual out loud laughter and that when I was in one of my moods! That has got to make you feel better?

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