If nothing else…

You witnessed years of me and unhappiness being intertwined and linked.

You witnessed my daughter dying.

You witnessed my single years of party, hook-up’s, moving house, listening to music and collecting animals.

You witnessed me being broke, losing my home, selling my furniture, breaking my leg, my foot, my heart and probably my brain, all too often.

You witnessed me laughing and dancing and crying and screaming.

You witnessed my family falling apart.

You witnessed me getting drunk and not being able to do up my shjips.

 

You’ve witnessed so much.

But although you’ve witnessed much, you’ve missed most of it. You’ve ignored so much.  You’ve also demanded so much.

 

You’ve missed me falling in love deeply and maturely.

You’ve missed me growing up.

You’ve missed me becoming an adult.

You’ve missed meeting my new friends.

You’ve missed seeing me settle into this new life.

You’ve missed knowing me and who I am now.

You’ve missed so much more than you’ve witnessed.

 

I’m not sure who is to blame anymore.  But I feel the loss of you, and I try not to be angry because anger is a wasted emotion.  I miss you, but I don’t miss you.  It’s a relief beyond belief not being an active part of your life.

 

I hope you’re happy though, wherever you are in life.  Sincerely, I mean that.

 

If nothing else, and in case you’re worried now of not witnessing, just know that I can say that I’m a blessed, loved, happy, very grateful girl.