Humfry Bumfry* Bash

My friends and family are having a bitch fit because this year, for my birthday, I don’t want to celebrate it. They don’t think so, apparently. You see, every year my birthday is somewhat of a looked-forward to event for the following reasons:

  1. I’m the oldest sibling, my family love teasing me about being the oldest, yet most fragile (literally) child.
  2. I am the youngest friend, as all my mates are older. So they like to live life through me.
  3. I can throw a huuuge party when I want to.

I’ll give you a bit of my brief birthday bash history:

  • Age: 16 – I threw away my name in Rockies, the one and only place to flick a hoof and get motherless. I actually achieved the latter, as my mother disowned me for a whole four days. She was phoned up at midnight to unlock the gate as my buddy’s parents dropped me off at home, barely conscious, Kev had to carry me up the stairs. I got woken up at 5.30am sharp the next morning to go HIKING.
  • Age: 17 – My mates threw a (so not surprising) surprise bday bash for me in the life savers tower down on the beach front. I had sand up my butt for days. Yes, lets not go there…
  • Age: 18 – Everyone came to my place to get wet, drunk & full as I hosted a pool party of note, with a side of lamb and pork spitt & drink as much as you can until you fall down on the ground.
  • Age: 19 – I was pregnant so had a tea party and watched all my friends slur there way to drunkdom. They had fun tho.
  • Age: 20 – Jerk (an ex, for my new readers) paid Britt to take me out for the day while he set up a huge charra* party for me in the garage. I did not have a clue until about 3o’clock that afternoon when Britt started driving in circles around Margate Beachfront and clearly stalling for time, when I was protesting utmost that I did, in fact, need to pee.
  • Age: 21 – Huge motherass of a party. Hired out a local dive, decorated it to beyond recognition, with stars, and draping, and red carpeting as my theme was “Hollywood”. I dressed as a Pink princess, complete with flowy flowery skirt and tiara. My friend Brad came as a carpet. Seriously, he was totally naked and barefoot and draped a red carpet around him and cut out holes for his arms so he could drink.
  • Age: 22 – Hired a couple of those tressel tables and stuck them together like a medievel banquet to fit 25 of my closest best friends (plus one’s included) to have an afternoon lunch home made by …. (drum roll, please) …. ME! I slaved like a dog to make SIX different italian pastas, complete with garlic rolls, french salad dressing, olives and the green, white and red stripes.

So, this year, if I decide to go to a nice quiet restuarant, please excuse me.

* Our very intelligent garden boy was hard at work one day when a visitor popped in to drop off a present for my dad as it was his birthday. That evening, Jameson came into the kitchen and mumbled to my dad:

The man, she say “Humfrey Bumfrey” and promptly handed over the by now crumpled and creased gift.

** I am infamous for my pasta. Any shape, flavour or form is infloppable to me. Its the one thing I can cook that comes out delish everytime. I’m not boasting or anything, I’m just saying…
I rock at cooking pasta. More so than anyone else.