How to survive your first day at a new job:

Based on my musings of today, at my new job:

  • Know: it’s hard, but try as hard as you can to NOT walk into the concrete pillar in front of an open office of Developers
  • Simultaneously: don’t forget about that bloody step in the kitchen that you tripped over twice already
  • The kettle: is pretty godamned hot, remember that
  • Ordering stationary: a bit of a mind fuck
  • Expectations: have none, any you do have will either be eliminated the minute you’re through the door, or exceeded by lunch time
  • New faces: you’ll recognize some, remember none of their names
  • Admit: at least twice that yes, you are that crazy blogger chick
  • Accept: Lindt chocolate as your welcoming gift and feel touched
  • Admire: the bottomless fridge of coke products – oh my…
  • Love: the coffee addiction developing from the kitchen’s professional ‘chino maker
  • Say: hellothankyouverymuchnicetomeetyoutoo at least a hundred times to a hundred faces you won’t recognize in ten minutes
  • Get: fingerprints done so you can access the exit door to the bathroom or you won’t be able to wee all day and turn yellow with the urinal pressure
  • Think: wow.  I’m here.  I’m really here
  • Plan: a shit load of strategy going forwards but,
  • Have: patience, it can’t all happen today.  Especially because I’ve been allocated a little cubicle in Siberia on my lonesome until the office design in finished

All in all a busy yet exciting yet frustrating yet informative yet overwhelming day.  But yeah, bring it!


  1. The Goose says:

    Well done bitch – so proud of you

    Don’t worry – they are all as crazy as you are! 🙂

    Tell Richard, Raymond & Brenton I said hi! – if you ever remember their names!

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