How to make a black person blush.

On Sunday I had my team around for a bit of lunch and an official work reason.  There we were, munching on the most amazing red velvet chocolate cheese cake, and discussing how it was bought.

Me: So my mate Angel runs a cupcake / baking business, The Cupcake Lady, and she lets some of us beta test her new recipes, this is one of them.

Tumi: Angel?  Is that her name? Is she a bushnanian?

Me: Haha, um, no.

Dave: Her surname is Conradie.

Me: Yes, but she used to be a Swemmer.

Tumi: ….

* A few minutes go by, topic has changed at least twice, the group has resumed talking about the amazing cheese cake, Dale is asking if he can lick his plate (he’s from Boksburg, we won’t judge), Dave is cheating on his diet by making love to his portion of the cheese cake, Alex is silent, eyes closed and savouring every bite… When suddenly, Tumi decides to interrupt us all *

Tumi: Okay, so she’s not a bushnanian, she used to be a swimmer and now her surname is Conradie?

Me: Wait, what?  We’re back to Angel again?

Tumi: Yes!  Angel.  Engel.  “[In a heavily accented black voice] Ooh, En-Gel”.

Me: Okay, what about her?

Tumi: Dude!  You’re like totally casual about the fact that you have a WHITE MAID!  WHAT THE FUCK?  And she bakes you cakes!  I hate you!

In confusion we all look around the table, not wanting to offend the only black person in our midst, especially since she’s walking along the Julius Malema “BUT SHE IS A RAY SEEEEST” vibe.  The dinner table goes to an awkward silence while I quickly go over the conversation in my head to see where we went wrong.  Eventually, it hits me.

Me: TUMI! YOU DUMBASS!  I SAID MY “MATE” ANGEL, NOT “MAID”!

 

And bang went the rest of the afternoon’s entertainment.

 

Nothing is funnier than seeing a black person blush over a racial faux pas.  Especially when they’re a self-professed coconut, it’s hilarious.

 

PS: If you’re in Joburg, order all your baked goodnesses from Angel.  She is ah-maize-innnnnng!

11 comments

  1. Dale Ferreira [social media intern & shebee's personal coffee maker & photocopier] says:

    I was cleaning the plate to save you time later.

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