Ha ha ha that’s NOT FUNNY!

So, take this:


Whilst kneeling on the toilet, drop it into this:


It will then force you to do this:


And finally make a person look like this:

_Device Memory_home_user_pictures_IMG00518

Yes, folks, its true.  I did this on Friday night.  There my Blackberry was, just minding its own business in the bosom of my breasticles, whilst I knelt on the toilet seat (which is right next to my bath tub – don’t ask) which then decided to shift, cause me to lose my balance and have my BB fly from the safety of mine boobs with a plop into the bath water.

I heard the gloog, gloog, gloog sound effects whilst my mouth screamed “SHIT SHIT SHIT!” and my body moved faster than the speed of sound to retrieve my one true love second true love out from its watery gallows.

In my moment of utter genius, I shook the phone and willed the water to emerge from its new place of residence and then sucked the keys.  Yes, I sucked my phone.  Gave it head.  Dome.  Oral loving.  Whatever, the point is – I got that unwelcome and unwanted amount of water out.

Immediately I tweeted my misfortune.  And facebooked it.  And, er, blogged it.  For the good of the Blackberry, see?  And it paid off! A few Many people told me to stop talking about it, and instead put it in rice over night.  All the while Jon had to deal with me whimpering, sighing and checking his phone constantly for my Social Media addiction.

It was in the movie house on Saturday afternoon (watched Sherlock Holmes – don’t bother, it sucked the big one – I yawned the whole time) that he kindly reminded me to turn my phone on silent, like he always does.  It was then that I kindly reciprocated and near burst into tears.  How thoughtless and crude of him.  Much like when you ask someone how someone else is but then remember that the someone else is actually in fact very much dead.  Like that.

Anyway, when we got home on Saturday night I looked at my phone lovingly, just lying there in the rice paddy and although I reassured myself that it was okay and was getting a spa-like treatment, I went to bed with my laptop tucked under my pillow, in the Blackberry’s place.

The next day, I bounced all over the bed while Jon was sleeping, eager for permission and reassurance that it was okay for me to now put my beloved back together without the risk of shorting the circuit and then having to face my Blingberry’s imminent burial.  Jon thought out the process in his head, weighed the pros and cons and obviously decided that hearing me whine and whimper for any longer a time was most definitely not worth it.  And so I switched it on.

Oh happy days!  Jesus and his angels sang sweet harmony while the phone flickered back to life, and even though the trackball fell out halfway through Anglug’s visitation to mourn my very broken and sick blackberry they didn’t know had already been fixed by yours truly come check on their new baby cat, my phone seems to be working semi-perfectly. Once the trackball had been forced back in place.

Lucky me.  But it’s not like I panicked or stressed out about it or anything.


  1. Geoffrey Chisnall says:

    same happened to my poor nokia, but this happened on the monkey falls at ratanga. fell out my pocket into a nice pool of water. thought it was a goner. got home left it off for a day to dry and bam! started working again!
    not a nice feeling though when you think your phone is dead and you are wondering how you are going to replace it.

  2. Jon says:

    Jon: don’t forget to switch off your….. crap…. sorry.
    Sheen: waaaaaaaaaaah

    … remove foot, close mouth 🙁

  3. cath says:

    Dude. we need to learn to keep our phones away from water. its a Shath thing. seriously. this is our life lesson or something.

    snort. X

  4. Craig says:

    Father-in-law climbed into the mineral spa with his phone in his pocket over the weekend – think it’s still lying on the operating table!

  5. Tara says:

    If that happens again, you can use alcohol to ‘dry’ it. It has to be pure alcohol though, like you’d buy from a pharmacy or something, that bottle of vodka won’t work, and besides it has better uses. What you do is take apart the drenched phone, take a piece of cotton wool and pour some alcohol on it, not too much. Now gently dab the alcohol onto the circuits and whatnot. I’m not 100% sure on how it works, but it’s something to do with the alcohol diluting the water, and evaporating very quickly and thereby drying the phone/tv remote/other piece of hydro-phobic technology.

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