Gundergunder Almost Death.


On Friday night I looked forward to going home for the first time in weeks while it was still actually light and I didn’t need a spot light to get into my house (the globes are burnt out along my pathway) and then chilling to the max.  We’ve* had such a busy couple of weeks that all I wanted was a quiet night in with my poor neglected and only-child cat, who has started growing up all by herself**.

I think I’d been at home for an hour, done laundry, tidied up the Afghanistan war zone that was my home and then sat on the bed to open a book for all of five minutes before I was awoken by my boyfriend person getting into bed with me after being out with his people.  A few minutes later, wide awake and chatting about our day as we walked down the driveway, we went to lock the entrance gate so that the horses wouldn’t be made into roadkill didn’t get kidnapped.  It was about 10:30 at night and as we were petting the pretty horses, I hear an engine roar and look up to see Jax’s gunder-gunder truck racing down the driveway at a speed of knots!

Thinking there was an emergency somewhere, with someone, I jumped into the driveway to find out what the fack was going on, only blind Jax just accelerated!  If it hadn’t been for Cassie in the car with her screaming “IT’S SHEENA, JACQUI, STOP THE CAR – IT’S SHEENA!” I wouldn’t be coming to you now from my office, it would be from the comfort of my very own pimped out grave site.

Yes, yes I would be.  I’d find a way to blog in death – what the hell else would I be supposed to do, guardian angel someone? I don’t think so, buddy.

But I digress, I was nearly killed.  If it hadn’t been for Jon who held me back, or Cassie for screaming out the alert – I would be dead right now.  Just sommer net loike VAT, bru!

She thought I was a horse thief and planned to run me over.  So anyway.  That’s all I have to say.  I nearly doid.  But I didn’t, and I’m just letting you all know I’m well alive and taking names as I kick ass at my new career of awesomeness.

*oh gawd, look it’s started – that whole “we”, “us”, “our” thing that annoying couples do.

** she’s potty trained herself, people! I couldn’t be prouder if she stood on her hind legs and high-fived me.


  1. Jon says:

    Luckily it was the light at the end of the driveway and not the light at the end of the tunnel; that would have sucked! I still can’t believe you jumped IN THE WAY of the oncoming high-revver!! Insane Shebee!

  2. cath says:

    Jon, it’s like we’ve always said about Sheen, she throws herself at life… so it really makes sense that she should throw herself at imminent death too.


    Tart, love you. am kidding

  3. stalker says:

    Hello glad your kitty is potty trained, nothing worse than the smell of cat shit when you get out of bed! But bad you for neglecting her …. love you lots only 2 more months till I find you ;-D

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