Gayness – its not just an emotion!

Thanks to Phlippy, I now have a stomach cramp from laughing at the following two entries I found on this site:

[1] So during the biggest test of the term I look down and realise my fucking penis not working! I MEAN IT’S COMPLETELY DEAD!
[1] *pen is omfg
[2] haha rofl
[1] Excuse me while I rip out my space bar for failing me like that šŸ™

[1] hey, the girlscouts would need some parent to look after them, are you in?
[2] wait 1 quick question, does this increase my chanses to get laid??
[1] dude, but they are like 12 years old!!!
[2] so that’s yes?

Bloody hell! My eyes are still tearing.

Heard a funny story today. This friend of mine pissed someone off big time, so the angered dude drafted up an ad for a website, holding my friends photo’s up with his contact details onto a gay dating chat site.

The horrible thing is, one of the guy’s clients saw the ad and responded to it by asking to meet up with him later that day to do a sexual favour or two. Naturally, being a client who had called him, he felt bad so he agreed to hook up for a beer later, but unfortunately no hanky panky was to be had. He didn’t ever hear from the client again. How embORassing!

Anyway, this got me thinking.

I went through a phase years ago thinking I was a lesbian and would not give it up until I had tried it out to see what all the fuss was about. How unfortunate for our poor younger friend Stacy, who was to become my target of lust and leering. She kept laughing me off, and telling me to stop joking around because if she took it seriously I would kak myself. I didn’t believe her of course and carried on trying to terrorise her.

Not long after, poor old Stace had enough of my pathetic excuses of flirting and initiated a game of spin the bottle. I for one hate this game, as I can never get it right and always end up with the worst punishments.

Round four had me sitting bare ass naked with just a towel to cover my bits, while all the guys were gunning for Stacy to penalise me again. Quite simply, she stated that because I had been harping on about it for so long she was going to get it on with me.

… Guys. Sigh. I hate to admit this, as it really was my one big asperation in life, to be a lesbian, but …

I kakked myself.

When she kissed me (which wasn’t too bad I suppose, almost like having your mom give you a kiss, but with tongue, you know? Thats how it felt, honestly. You know its wrong but its not completely disgusting.), I felt a butterfly start in my toes and flap all the way to my tummy. When her hands started roaming, I literally sat there with eyes wide open and my mouth completely open and shocked.

Eventually, I had enough and just before she managed to get me to admit I was changing my mind about being a lessie, one of the guys in the group groaned one of those deep throated groans, and got up and sort of chicken stepped away both hands in front of his pants.

The rest of us cracked up and fell down laughing, but the whole time we teased him, I cannot thank him enough for interrupting – I was damn sure not looking forward to eating my words!

So, tell me. Being a homosexual. Are you? Have you? Would you?