Cooking shit with SheBee #1

If you read my last post, you’ll know that I have decided to embrace my inner house bitch.  I like domestic bliss, I think it suits me.

I’ve been experimenting in the kitchen with things that I never used to.  Ingredients like fish, for instance. I know, don’t die…  I’ve started eating my phobia.  Still can’t touch it though, Jon does that part.  So I thought I’d share my latest recipe invention:

Smoked Salmon Tagliatelle aka The Shiznizz.

Incredible Ingredients:

  • 1 x Smoked salmon fillet (about 60 bucks from Woolies)
  • 1 x tub of smallish creme freche or fresh cream (250ml)
  • 1 x bag of tagliatelle pasta
  • 1 x cup of your choice of white wine (down the rest of the bottle to prepare yourself mentally)
  • 1 x Woolies fish rub spice in a bottle of awesomeness
  • Handful of chives
  • Handful of parsley
  • 2 x bright red tomatoes
  • 1x finely chopped large onion
  • 1/2 yellow pepper julienne-chopped (much like judo-chopped, but not quite.  Yellow for colour, really, no other reason)
  • Salt, pepper, whatever other spice you have that’ll work
  • Olive oil
  • 1 x Woolies sweet chili garlic roll

Method to the madness:

  1. Preheat your oven to 180
  2. Drizzle a little olive oil over fillet, rub in fish spices
  3. On a high heated stove, flash-fry the salmon fillet for 4 minutes on the skin side just to brown it
  4. Remove the fillet, place in between two plates to hold in moisture while it rests off the heat
  5. Chuck the garlic roll into the oven
  6. At this point, turn on another stove plate and chuck some water into a pot with a pinch of salt and some olive oil
  7. Back to the pan, chuck in your onions and saute until soft and clear in a bit of olive oil
  8. Add in the peppers for about two minutes, then the tomatoes, chives, and parsley
  9. Spice it all up with salt and pepper to taste
  10. PS: Your pot of water should be boiling by now, add in the tagliatelle and give it a stir in one minute to make sure it doesn’t stick to the bottom
  11. Back to the sauteed veg, add in your cup of white wine, turn up the heat (the stove, not your dude)
  12. Let the sauce come to a boil for a bit and then lower the heat considerable (‘2’ on my stove works well)
  13. Stir in the creme freche, taste again (add more spices if need be)
  14. Once you’re happy with the sauce, carefully place your salmon fillet over the sauce in the middle of the pan, skin side facing up
  15. Place a lid on it and let the steam from the sauces cook the insides of the fillet for no longer than ten minutes

Finishing up:

Keep an eye on your pasta.  Once it’s ready (shouldn’t boil for more than ten minutes ideally), pop a few fresh mini asparagus shoots into a steaming microwave bowl.  Nuke for 4 minutes. Strain, drizzle with olive oil, black pepper and salt.  Check on your garlic roll, it should be done by now.

Plate the tagliatelle in the centre of the serving dish first.  Once the fillet is flaky and cooked through, place it on top of the tagliatelle carefully so it doesn’t break.  Scoop the veggies out of the sauce and shove those bitches right on top of the fish.  Drizzle remaining cream wine sauce over it all.

Garnish with a few asparagus sprouts on top.

Eat with gusto.


Can you believe I forgot to take a picture of the finished product?  I am a dumbass, sorry.  Let me know if any of you do this and how it turns out.

Until next time my little kitchen concubines…



  1. Briget says:

    WOW!!! How frikken awesome!

    Remind me to pop over at your hotspot for some culinary delights 😉

    (I am super impressed and horribly jealous)


  2. Tara says:

    Wait – you can’t look at a fish but you can cook with it and touch it and get it’s sliminess all over? Terrible! At least look your victim in the eye ;P

    No it really does sound good. The shizznizz is deff an epic name for it.

  3. cath Jenkin says:







  4. Shebee says:

    Tara, you obviously skipped over the part where I said Jon handles all dealings with the fish. Dorkus.

    Briget – this is easy man – with steps like these how could you fail?

    Cath – I’m a grown ass woman, hear me roar!

  5. StevenMcD says:


    Woman, did you learn nothing from Comrade Floyd?! Its not concubines. Its cocobines. Get your shit straight 😛

    I say what I mean and I mean what I say!

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