Monday 20Q (on Wednesday)…with DENHAM!

– I do know my site was down for a while.  Apologies to you, I trust you survived what must have been an anguishing time, filled with misery and desperation.  I can assure you it won’t happen again in a hurry–

Denham Coote is a Programmer from Johannesburg.  He spends his days twittering with me and keeping me company until the early hours.  He also happens to be my online husbank.  He prefers I call him my hubskank, but he can’t always get everything he wants in life, especially as it’s not always about him.  For the nerds, you will have heard Denny talking about ‘Project Wolf’ the secret him and Tyler Reed have been hyping up.  I offered to flash him my booblets but even THAT didn’t work, so I’m guessing we’ll all have to wait a while yet before we get the inside scoop.

For the non nerds, I wanted you to have a bit of an insight to the one man who has surprised me to no end.  Out of the blue one night he offered to talk me through a technical problem and so we chatted on the phone.  And the rest is history, he’s amused me almost daily since.  More importantly, this man has a few things up his sleeve that he just sommer net chucks out there when you least expect it.  Like his comment below with regards to his Momma passing.  Anyway, an all-round really kiff dude, and someone I am proud to introduce to you okes:

Denny, tell us what you do for a living darlin’.
I’m thinking about retiring. Becoming a monk. Picking apples. Growing herb gardens maybe, I hear it’s therapeutic.

What would a day in the life of a monk be like?
Actually, no, not a monk – a Pimp!  Really though, I’m a Programmer in a management position.

Alrighty. How does Tyler Reed fit into your life? According to some (you), it’s been overheard that he may be your “bitch”?
I worked with him on a project for Younique. We worked really well together and have been getting involved in more and more projects together. Also, the infamous article quoted me as being his bitch

Anything you hoping to do in the next few months online?
Yes – We’re currently working on a project that we plan to launch early next year

Is this the infamous secret Project Wolf?
Heh. It is indeed.

Why is it such a secret? It’s driving me NUTS!
It’s not an entirely new concept, but we’re putting a new spin on it and making it really cool.

Any release dates in mind?
January 2009.  We had earmarked the 1st, but I’m gonna be sipping on some cold ones. So I guess Tyler’s got the graveyard shift.

Ok, quick questions.  You don’t like TV, what do you do instead?
Chatting to you, of course! But when you’re offline/working, I enjoy reading, photography, movies, sleeping, eating, coding, solving my Rubik’s cube, etc,

Ha! Favourite sweet?
Hmm. Not a huge eater of sweets, since I’m a diabetic, though I’d probably buy a Tempo if I had the urge.

Favourite T-shirt in your cupboard
Lol, random! Um, I’m not particularly fussy about clothing – Any old T that goes well with my comfy jeans

Best way to describe you in one word?
Damn, I thought I was gonna get easy Q’s – like A/S/L!  What’s one word for ReallyChilledAndCompletelyAROCatTheSameTime?    AROC = Anal Retentive Obsessive Compulsive.

ASL is a bit 2005 don’t you think?
2005? Try ’95!

You do a daily mugshot. How far are you now?
Ooh! I need to do one for today – Shaved my head this morning so should make a change!  Yes, I’m an about 50+ so far.

You shaved your head again? You like the bald look huh?
It works for me – I have really weird hair. But it’s also something I’ve done for years – My Mom had cancer for around 9 years before she passed away last year. Whenever she had chemo, I’d lose my hair. I’ve just continued with it.

Denny! Wow. That’s pretty deep.  And I’m totally in love with you right now.
*blush*

Alright, moving on, before I climb through this screen and attack your person in a pleasurable way.  I have a bag of unlimited size, you may fill it with 5 things of anything, what will they be?
Aaah, I forgot that was coming. Hmm.  I’m inclined to say something like “Duh, the whole friggin universe!”, but that’s a bit of a cop-out, isn’t it?  OK, so I’m imagining that this is a bag into which I put the last 5 things I can ever own – all other things/possessions are been relocated to /dev/null, yes?

Emm. No one ever questioned the 5 things.
See, and you want to sum me up in one word? Bah!

No, think of it like I walked up to you now. Whatever you have now, plus your 5 things.
Yes, but are they 5 things I already own, or 5 new things I want? Ok, ok, I’ll stop been difficult.

Oh fuck, thanks god.  Pick anything, like, a million bucks!
1.  Music – lots of it!
2.  Red wine – an endless supply of endless variety
3.  A Bugatti Veyron
[A whattiron? – Ed]
4.  Rubik’s cubes. They last me about a week before the labels are worn off

Oh, a Bugatti Veyron is a car. It kinda beats every other supercar out there, hands down.  It’s limited to 400km/h.  Ok, so I have music, wine, cubes, car. Need one more…Umm… This is where I should say ‘happiness’ or ‘world peace’ or something, hey?

Come come come.  Ah, well…
I’m thinking another Veyron so I can play in traffic with someone.  No wait, okay – number 5 is an endless supply of ice cold Heinekens (I say that only because it’s HOT right now and I want one!)

No, you already said the second Veyron.  But just for you I’ll throw in the Heinies.

Okay, if you were a woman, would you rather:
a) learn how to use a tampon
b) have your pubic hair waxed, or
c) have sensitive breasts for a week before every period

HAHA! Who says I’m not already well-versed with all 3! *cough* b *cough*

Any final last words?
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

*waits for answer*

…hello?  Hellooooo?

Mon 20Q…with Cath @ The Shath!

I have a bit of a scoop for you.  It’s also Monday 20Q, so I thought I would combine the two.  Please say hello to someone who most of you know very well by now, my soon to be ex homie, Cath Jenkin.

We have some big news – would you like to tell everyone?
The Shath is over.  Hee hee, it’s not because the scissoring was crap though.  No one died, nothing bad, its life.  We still haven’t scissored yet though, disappointingly. Sheena has decided to move out.

What do you think the biggest change will be?
No more weird smells.

What the fuck?
Haha.  No, you won’t be here for me to bitch at.  And you’ll be waking up a lot earlier and a lot less willingly with even less morning friendliness.

What do you think the biggest rumour is going to be about me moving out?
I think they’ll say it’s about a boy.  I just want you guys to know:  it’s not about a boy, or a girl, or a donkey. I’m just saying.

Tell us the one thing you won’t miss.
The weird smells.  Oh my god!  Your inability to turn taps off properly.  Although, have to admit, you didn’t explode the tap this morning, Fred did.  I don’t think he’s too pleased with you moving out.

Tell us who Fred is.
Fred is a ghost; we blame everything paranormal on him.  He is also very obviously related to me, quite closely in fact. He likes Sheena, and we think he exploded the tap because she said she is leaving soon.

What are you looking forward to?
October being over, so I can dye my hair again [Ed:  it's orange at the moment]

Tell us about your day today
My shoe broke this morning.  The geyser.  The tap exploded.  Got stuck in veg isle again with random old people, and a child was wearing a suit.  His priestly church going father shouting at kid the kid for fighting with his sister “THAT IS NOT GOD’S WAY!  YOU WILL NOT FIGHT IN PICK N PAY!”.  I canned myself.

What will you use my room for now?
I shall hold a séance.  Jokes.  I’m not sure right now.  I’ll tell you when I’ve cleaned up okay?  (Stares at my shoes strewn in every corner and wayward tossed towel on floor)

What have you learned from the last 6 months?
That I’m impossible to live with?  Haha.  (4 minute pause) it’s been a quintessential lesson, actually:  There are six million things you can do with pasta, but only three of them taste good!

I’ll miss your tea.
As crap as it is?  Badly stirred, lacking sugar, low tide… half full… you’re full of shit.
*Cath does the SCKCK4T backward hand motion*

Are you going to enjoy your time alone with cam?
Yes and no.  Yes because any time with cam is awesome.   No because i know that sometimes i can drive myself insane alone.

Do you think our phone bills will go up again now that we’ll be living separately?
Dude, have you met us?  When we lived together it was worse!  One of the first things we said was “at least we’ll save on phone bills”.  WhatEVER!

What are you going to be keeping out of this relationshit?
Your GHD.

Smoke your other sock, Jenkin.
Okay fine, I want some Tiff chocolate before you go.  Oh my god, I am going to miss our random hand signals that only we understand.  Like when a certain someone asked me a life question and I needed to silently scream around the corner.  You totally got that.

Is it true that you wanna be here when I pack up my stuff?
Yes.  I’m having huge anal tendencies that you’ll nick my whisk.  Not in a euphemistic kind of way, I’m just really quite possessive about my actual whisk.

Ha!  Too bad you’ll be away on business when I move out.  Hey at least you get to have more space on the windy dryer again.
Sarcastic woot.  Have you met Cameron’s clothing fetish?  I’m going to miss the farting compos.

Dude, I never needed to compete with you, you’re the champion without contest.
I know, I gross people in china out.

Now that the days of The Shath are over, do you think we should put up that notorious vlog?
Mmm, maybe with editing.  I have changed my mind to one of the questions of who I would shtup in blog world.  I’m also scared that we are the only people in the world who think we’re as funny as we think we are.

List your ten favourite memories:
Cath barfs.

1.  The sckck4t.  Including requisite for the backwards hand motion.
2.  Sheena breaking the news of leaving, and bursting into tears because her parents suggested a Christian woman’s institution called Dames Huis.
3.  Texting each other while sitting in the same room.
4.  Going to buy milk.
5.  Oh my god. Sheena’s one way road fetish.
5.  The night of my birthday.  Watching random VHS music videos and bitching about life, love and everything else.
6.  The birthday surprise party which I walked into and started off by calling everyone fucking losers.
7.  The first weekend we ever met which turned into the most random girl party ever.
8.  Not sleeping for the first month you were here.  We constantly spoke and talked and laughed.
9.  Everything at The Shath always started with a smoke break, didn’t it?
10.  The universal delete button, greatest invention of all time.  If only we knew how to make it happen.  The idea that exists though.
11.  The lesbian serenade invention session in the bathroom in the middle of one night, with a toothbrush.

I give you my infamous bag of five items that can be anything, what would you want?

1.  Richard Branson’s credit card.
2.  Inflatable car so that I may never have to drive with you again in my life but still arrive safely on my own.
3.  A full time nanny to take care of me.
4.  Insta-fix-everything machine.  Shit situations, all round world instant solution to problems.  What?  Your geyser broke?  Here, have a new one, already installed, workable.
5.  A towel.  In manner of Hitch hikers guide to galaxy.  You must always have a towel.

Any famous last words?
Fuck.  Wait.  No, don’t write “wait”! It’s not my fault I’m awesome.  I’m not sorry.  No regrets.  I should go wake Cam up, don’t make that my last word!

I will miss Cath’s recipe for penis pina’s. I will miss sneaking into the house in the middle of the night to not wake Cam up but finding Cath smoking in the lounge and joining her on the floor with tea while we watch mindless Oprah reruns.  I will miss having someone who knows me so well that I need only give a look and it is known how my day was.  I will miss Cammertime bath time.  I will miss The Shath and everything in it.  I will miss Cath’s laugh drifting through my bedroom window from the lounge and out onto the balcony while we IM’ed each other from different rooms.  I will miss having that sense of someone to share the day’s problems with.  I will miss hearing stories from her funny work environment.

Things might be coming to an end, but a new era is only beginning for the both of us.  Thank you for sharing the ride with the three girls of The Shath.  Stay tuned for my next adventure, if nothing else, it’s going to be a cooker.

Mon20Q – Vince on Beat Magazine SA, top on the Shitometer scale right now.

Vincent Hofmann is someone I ran into via Twitter. We’ve since been in contact quite a bit and discovered a few similarities. One of them being that we grew up in the same hometown, at the same time, without knowing it and another thing being that we both like to stir the pot and cause a bit of kak.

One of my pet hates in blogging is the way we all blow smoke up each others asses. A bit of groupie cheerleading is okay (such as me with my favourites, I’m not afraid to show some love, but I don’t count in this critique, I’m perfect remember?) but a lot of the time it’s the same people saying the same things about the same events at the same venues on the same subjects. I don’t want to target a particular group (web 2.0 gurus) because we all (only them, not me) do it.

Enter BeatMagazineSA, the anonymous website created in order to get people a) laughing b) talking c) humiliated in a humble way. In doing this, the cyber land was abuzz with guesses of who the writers were. I had my suspicions all along, but have to admit that it was none other than the lovely Ms Eve who verbally guessed my thoughts. Vincent and Saul have finally come forward and raised their white flags. Just in time, according to my sources who reveal that their (now deleted) post on Tyler Reed had caused a bit of madness and mayhem and almost had lawyers out to work. On a Sunday, nogal!

Because I’m so witty and smart and clever and on the ball (read: insomniac, bored, nothing else to do) I convinced Vincent to give me his precious time and grant me the following interview. Hopefully it will appease some of you geeks out there into calming the fuck down and taking BeatMag with a bucket and a half of salt:

Vince, BeatMagSa… tell me yours and Saul’s inspiration for its creation.

To keep this community humble, to inspire them to remain true who they are and shun their reliance on their online personas

Are you bummed you were caught out so soon?

Yes and no, yes because we relied on our anonymity to make observations of the community as a whole, taking in the negative and positive comments and creating a single satirical blog incorporating both. No because it appears our voices came through very strongly which was perhaps not intended but appreciated

Okay, all the diplomatic words aside, what set the blog off, what made you go “hey, these dudes need to be made fun of. I think I’ll start with Rafiq”

Ah, ok. Yes, all bullshit aside, I wanted to see how far I could push the blogosphere – I wanted to take what is said about everyone (you’re next) both the positive commentary and the negative and combine it to form one somewhat concise, delusional blog. As in the case of the blog I wrote about Nic and those commentators who feel his views of the country are biased by his positive perspective. It was commentary which when confronted could either be taken with a pinch of salt or interrogated. Imagine a cartoonist like Zapiro was taken to task every time he made a satirical point.

Bleh, I’m a Jeremy Nell fan myself, not Zapiro. But yes, I get what you’re saying, I fully support what you guys stand for. I’m so sick of the incestuous ass kissing going on in the SA Cyber world.

Well I’m sick to death of the arse kissing to be honest. I hate the idea that 300 / 400 odd people simply all get along, all the time, never really challenging one another, it’s such a farce.

I’m worried now though, because your names are attached to BeatMag, will the edge be taken off?

No, if any thing I will get more vocal, because as you may have guessed I like the speaking thing and I like to stir things up a bit.

Yes, I do know And, the reason I initially started this chat was because I remember something you said to me a while ago, you like calling a spade a spade.

I cannot help it, its in my nature, I don’t sit on the fence, but let it be heard that I’m not an expert / sage I don’t have all the answers and I’m open to being shown that my opinions are off the mark because they are generally subjective. I’m not the messiah; I’m a very naughty boy.

Who is your next target?

A lesbian chick called Sheena.

Oh FOAD. I’m not lesbian!

Hmm, that’s not what it says on BeatMag.

Haha I can’t wait to read it! You not linking to your targets, is that intentional?

Yes, we don’t want to share the love, its internal, the love must be sucked in.

Are you surprised it was one of the first bitches?

The link love issue? Again, I think it’s a measure of narcissism. More than that actually, I’ve been asked to put more links on the site and each time I’ve questioned their intentions, I think that I fear for a community which expects links to return to their sites, Google does not index self worth – most certainly not if you are blogging to share your opinion. I might understand if we were talking about businesses, but I’m afraid the people we blog about are simply people, who probably pick their noses and scratch their privates.

A few people have been wondering who you are and where you came from. Want to give me a quick bio?

Well I’m quite tall, and I have blue eyes. I hail from a small town called Margate and sadly went to a small snobbish school of extraordinarily poor moral values.

Knob! I mean online, where do you slot in?

Where do I slot in? Good question. Well apparently I’m a knob, and I run a couple websites, but my primary interest in a site I co-created with my fiancé called Moralfibre. We’re a small start up clothing / blogging site which will when we sell our shirts become a venture capital fund for young artists, of any medium.

Is it like Springleap?

Good question actually, you already know I think Springleap is a knock off of thread less, and perhaps we’re a knock off of thread less in some way too. We differ in the sense that Moral Fibre is not our primary source of income, it is our hobby and thus try our best to support the artists in whatever way we can, we don’t have prizes, split the profits post the sale of 30 shirts with the artist and try to do everything ourselves, because we simply don’t have the financial backing to do it otherwise.

In a nutshell, if you want our help to create your own brand / label / exhibition etc. then by all means we’re there for you.

Alright, fun questions aside, now onto the all important ones, quick answers, ok?

I’ll try.

What shoe size are you?

10

Favourite toothpaste

Aquafresh

Best SA Band

Silence the Wolves

Current favourite real life blogger

Talita

How much money have you got in your wallet right now?

45 South African rands, roughly half a pound and the ticket to success

Name 5 things you want in a sizeless bag that I offer you [can be anything]

Sizeless? I can choose anything in the world?

Yup

Aston Martin (Talita’s), Lamborghini (mine), a villa in France, my own digital ad agency and finally a record contract for a couple million for my brothers band.

Any final famous last words?

That’s a toughie. I think I’d like to remind everyone that although its difficult, try to relax and enjoy life, at your own pace if possible – there is something to said for those who remain true to themselves in spite of the pressures of the world and can hold their heads up and really say “I’ve lived”.

*crowd goes wild*

There you have it. Straight from the horses mouth, SheBee style!

Monday 20Q – Dash does Kathmandu!

Welcome to the first Monday 20Q in oh, about nine months. I know, nine months is a long time to wait for something that was supposed to be a weekly event, but these things happen. This time round, I’ve chosen a subject who is someone that will provide a “funny” interview in that he is from a first world country, living in Kathmandu, Nepal, on a program to make their world a better place through education. If you don’t know where that is, it’s a third world country where shops have no fridges, and street names are nonexistent.

Dash has been a friend of mine for about 2 years now, I think. We’ve never met in person, we come from two entirely different continents, yet Dash and I have spoken so many times about anything and everything that it feels weird calling him an ‘online friend’. Being an Ozzie, for some background information, you might also know him on my blog as Robbo. He has worked for the Australian government for years, and came to a place in his head that told him he needed something more meaningful out of this life, and so he gave up everything to move to a place in the middle of nowhere.

From what I read, his language barriers in Kathmandu are driving him a bit bonkers, but I know Rob, and if nothing else, he’s someone who likes to be challenged. And on to the interview!

Now, how are you coping with your new life?

Pretty good – I just need to get a better sleeping and exercising routine, I think my head would be in a better place with some exercise. But then there are days when I want to belt the shit out of the next horn-tooting taxi or bus driver, shoot a cow and throw it all in and go home. I just wish my girlfriend was here sometimes to give me a hug.

What do you miss most about ‘First Worlding’?

My morning chai latte made by my old housemate, she is such a sweetie and knows just how I like it.
I miss kicking a footy on green grass.
I miss knowing exactly how to go about asking someone for whatever ‘this’ is.
I miss not knowing wherever it is I want to go.
I miss not having people intentionally injuring themselves then displaying their injuries to me in the hope I will give them some money.
I miss not being the target of a million stares and outreached hands, just because I’m white.

They hurt themselves intentionally? W.T.F?
I saw one guy with a 1 cm deep gash all up his arm – semi healed – stick it into my taxi to show me hoping I would give him 50c. Some parents break their children’s legs and then don’t get them medical help so they heal at weird angles, to “guarantee” them an income for the rest of their lives. Albeit through begging.

That’s horrible! What is the biggest cultural difference you’ve noticed?
Man on man and female on female touching. Because sex / touching is totally un-Hindu, they have to compensate. So you see men walking down the street hand in hand. For me, it means that when someone shakes my hand they often don’t let go. Sometimes we are in a meeting and they will constantly tap the inside of my leg. Fucked if I know why! I was warned before coming to be very careful about body language with any women – they can interpret a look or a shoulder touch as a come on – meaning they will either be uncomfortable or think that I want to marry them.

Okay, so you have random gay touching, but it isn’t actually gay?
Exactly. So you won’t ever see a husband and wife holding hands in the street, but straight men do. I’m surprised you haven’t heard about the uproar when they showed an on screen kiss in a Bollywood movie.

That is absolute madness! What’s your favourite thing here that you didn’t have back home?
I only ever order “chha wataa keraa” – 6 bananas at the shop and the suhuji just starts getting them ready for me when he sees me coming. My old corner store shop owner used to know which paper I wanted every weekend back home, but here it’s more of a community thing. And the fact that I have to buy milk in plastic bags or if you sleep in you miss it as you have to be at the shop before 7am or all the milk is gone.

Really, not enough supply to demand?
Well – most shop owners don’t have a fridge – so they have to sell it all in the morning or it goes sour.

Describe your home to me?

Ok, I come in through the squeaky red gate (although I applied some WD-40 to it the other day and you’ll no longer get a peep out of it, I was totally sick of hearing it open at 5am). It is very heavy and opens up to my downstairs neighbours beautiful garden that she spends most of the day looking after.

She is quite a plump lady with a beautiful smile and a very nice demeanor. We never have much to say to each other, but I think her English is quite good. She has a black dog I understand they call “big Blackie” and her husband is a thin tight lipped man who nonetheless seems very nice. Anyway, you then go down a little path and up the stairs, past Jingo (little blackie, another dog) and around to the left. Go past Crazy Neighbour lady’s flat (and her two boys, don’t know what’s happened to their father). Go past the usually locked door that leads upstairs to Reeta (the Didi’s house). There you will see my tiny double doored entrance with a thick looking padlock on it.

And inside, a bed, a night light and a book shelf? Does it feel like home?
Definitely, I am loving living alone actually – no “issues” to worry about.

By the sounds of it, our (South African) poverty is on level to your living standards at the moment. Or at least, the neighbourhood you’re in is.
Well, I have running water, which my neighbours don’t. Apparently that ledge and the sink were quite the hit with crazy lady when she came to visit. She started rattling off something very enthusiastic and tested its weight bearing capacity. The shower and sink in the bathroom were another oddity to her, probably the toilet too as most people squat over one of those hole in the ground style things, so I take it I am actually living quite well. I really don’t think of SA as third world. Then again I have never been there.

Yes, I think you are living quite well by their terms. By the way, it is called a ‘long drop’, the toilet.

I think if I didn’t have a home at least slightly suited to my first world needs I would probably be in a different place mentally. All the windows have bars on them – kind of oppressive, but necessary. It’s strange. Come to think of it, I’m lucky that this place is furnished!

In closing, I offer you a bag of five items, any items in the world, what are they?
1. Tim Tams [beautiful chocolate biscuits (oh you sweet, sweet Tim Tams)] Actually, my high school music teacher is blowing into town on the weekend with a little care package for me that I understand includes tim tams…
2. a DVD player – for some reason upon leaving Australia I got it into my head that I would not be watching DVD’s. They are cheaper than a dollar each and every now and then you need that escapism, you know?
3. chai latte – i’m scared to even ask for one
4. a good internet connection
5. and a scarf with my girlfriend’s perfume on it if, of course, you can’t fit her in there.

Cute. Okay, all important question: what are you wearing?
Flip flops, jeans (rolled up a quarter of the way so they don’t get covered in muck, be it cattle poo, mud, bike oil or goats remains), and a blue polo (bless this sweet country, at home I’d be wearing a shirt and tie.

Any famous last words?
If I’m dead tomorrow tell them it was the momo’s. Oh, and I most certainly did not do this interview while at work.

Monday 20Q…with Nic Harry!

Nic Harry is an all round nice guy. I’ve suspected this for a while, but having a chat with him late on a Sunday night just confirmed my usually accurate summations of people. Although quite apprehensive of offending anyone of my readers, he came across as relaxed, funny & very down to earth.

I’m sorry to report that the dude is involved, ladies. How sad for all of us, but I’m sure one day when we look back we’ll remember that he deserves his wonder woman, even if its not me.

Nic happens to be the master mind behind SA Rocks, which is a Virgin Money sponsored site. The idea behind it is to promote our country with positivity and not focus on the bad which is quite rare these days. Nic is a fellow blogger, writer & journalist and if you read further down below you will see that he’s lucky enough to be living his dream.

So, Nicholas Haralambous.
Yes, that’s me
Please state your full ID number and credit card details. Haha, kidding.
Hahahaha, ja, you’re lucky, because I know people!
Oooh – I am terrified.
Nah, don’t be, they’re all geeks.
But you aren’t a geek are you? Do you wear glasses? Oh wait, you do!
Yes. I wear glasses, have since I was about 7 or so. Does that make me a geek? I think it might.
I do too. So I guess that makes me a geekess. Where in Jozi are you?
I’m in Sandton. Is it safe to release that sort of info these days?
Well. Come now. My readers are lovely. I would trust them with my ID number (in another life time, scaly assholes!)
hahahahaha! That’s what they all say.
How long have you officially been a pro blogger for?
PRO-blogger… I’m not sure that I am one.
Well. You’re pretty out there, aren’t you. I see your face all over.
You do? Really? Where?
Hahaha. I know people.
Touche! Ok well lets see: I started blogging in 2005 sometime. I’ve had various blogs, websites, projects, jobs and the like. I recently settled on nicharalambous.com and sarocks.co.za as my main two are my main focuses. Blogging has also become part of my dayjob, so that’s a plus
Are you enjoying the attention sarocks has been given the last few months?
Um, at the moment that’s a tough question. I love being in SA, I love the country and I love being a part of the project, but it’s not always easy. Sometimes it’s tough to be 100% positive all the time. I needed a tough week to reevaluate my position I think, and make the same tough decisions.
And did you get it right?
Yes, I think I’m getting it right…for me. That’s the important part, I think.

Alright, onto the very important questions, put your thinking hat on.
Hit me.
Your shoe size?
Hahahaha, 9.5
Do you do back rubs?
I like to receive them but I do enjoy dishing them out I suppose.
Bloody men! Are you in a relationship?
Yes, I am.
Brilliant, whats her phone number (so we can warn her)?
Warn her? Listen if you want dirt, you’d probably need to go to her over anyone else!
Weirdest job you’ve ever heard of?
Well, I watch Dirty Jobs on Discovery so there have been some stinkers in there. Cheese maker was a weird one.
Hmm. I once read up on a dude who fixed dead peoples hair in preperation for funerals, can’t beat that!
I dunno, I think you could if you had the time, you and I don’t though.
Whats your biggest fear?
Failure.
Do you know your HIV status?
Yes.

Good for you! Your weirdest medical problem ever?

Interesting story: Planters wart on my foot that was eventually healed by my great grandmother who allegedly had powers to heal. She did an ancient greek remedy and chant and I woke up with a healed foot after months and months of conventional treatment. Go figure.
Wow! That must be quite handy.
Well, not anymore. She passed away a few years back.
Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. My grannies are both dead too. Which one blogger do you read daily?
One?! I subscribe to and read close on 200 blogs from all over so that’s a tough one. Ok help me out, local or international?
Local of course.
CherryFlava is a favourite of mine for sure.
Your best friends nick name?
I can’t actually give you that, I will offend people.
Nic, clearly you don’t read me often enough if you’re worried about offending people.
No, This is offensive, according to law, trust me.
If I could give you a goodie bag with 5 items in it, what would they be?
Okay, let’s see: iPhone. Wait, how big is the bag?
It’s as big as you need it to be
So, we have an iPhone, a house, an Audi A3, a sixpack (stomach – not beer) and a years worth of flights to anywhere in the world!
That’s quite the pretentious list, dahhhling.
I know, but I have almost everything else in my life – love, friends, happiness… so im starting on to the materialistic things now.
Growing up, what is the naughtiest thing you ever did?
Wow, that’s an unfortunate question. I was never that kid, I was always the "over achiever". Sad, but true.
Your mom must have been so proud. Your love life as a kid – any heart breaks?
A few, yes. You say kid, but you do realise I am still a kid, hey? I feel like a kid and i love that. I’m a big kid with a few small growed-up-problems.
What star sign are you and do you ever match up to it?
Taurus, and I don’t even know what that means.
Okay, clearly your star sign doesn’t make sense to you then?
Not much, I control what I’m like, not the stars.
Fantastic, I have the same outlook star signs are for hippies with long leg hairs.
Hahahaha, there you go pissing folk off as usual. How many readers do you have again?
Yesterday’s count was 2900. Oopsie.

Final question: What did you want to be growing up?
Since the age of 6, I’ve wanted to be what I am, a Journalist. I knew what I wanted, I moved towards it and at 23 achieved it.

So there you have it. How to be 23 and rocking as a South African, Nic Harry style. Thanks for participating, Nic. Don’t forget the little people (I’m talking about me here) when you’re famous!

Monday 20Q with Tertia Albertyn!

Tertia Albertyn and I go way back. Seriously, I’m not just name dropping here by any means. In August 2003 I joined the SA Preemies support group for parents of Premature babies. Or at least, my momma did for me since I was stuck in hospital on bed rest. There I came into contact via email with Tertia. She had just given birth to twin boys, Ben and Luke. Sadly, she lost both her boy babies, and I was absolutely devestated for her. I remember thinking how cruel the world was, and being grateful that my situation was far less worse, little did I know.

Tannie T, as I affectionately call her, contacted me a few months later, after Kiera had died, and sent me a link to Ben’s memorial site, and advised me to do one for Kiera in the name of healing. Or something. I did so, and also started reading her blog, way back when in 1962. Or, 2004 – wha evah, you guys are so bloody anal about dates!

This was the start of a beautiful, if not awkward internet, friendship. I have followed Tertia’s story of infidelity infertility closely throughout the years, and despite being called an asshole frequently, I have come to respect and admire this role model wonder woman who I had no idea would become as famous as she has over the years. Lucky me, I know how to pick ‘em.

For those of you who live under a rock, and have never read her book or seen her about in O magazine, Fair Lady, Femina, YOU, Women24 or watched her on SABC 3′s Power Within, eTV’s Great Expectations or Carte blanche, or been present at one of her motivational talks, Tertia has gone through a shit load in her quest to be a mother again. Finally, after many years of heart ache, the loss of way too many pregnancies, one live birth of Ben (Luke died in utero) and a journey in far too much knowledge of her insides, Adam & Kate were born and are now the lights of her life and her reason for breathing. I personally cannot think of any other infertile more deservant of motherhood.

Tertia, I’m not going to ask you about your books or anything serious on Infertility, as I’m sure you’ve had that up to your ears. What I will ask, is what is your most favourite thing about being a Momma?
The opportunity to be able to love so completely, so utterly

Do you ever second guess yourself on having twins?
The first six months were hell. I thought i had made the biggest mistake of my life but slowly it gets easier and easier as they get older and then it gets to a point where having twins is easier than having a singleton, same schedule etc.

Adam and Kate have become borderline celeb kids in same manner as Pilo Shitt. Ahem, I mean Shilo Pitt. How does this make you feel?
I dont know, I’ve never thought of it that way actually.

You have a huge following, and your readers often give you seven different shades of hell. This must be one of the worst things about being so open about yourself and your loved ones?
It is difficult, but it also forces me to be brutally honest with myself, and true to myself. there is no place to hide. i detest fence sitters, blogging so openly forces me not to be a fence sitter.

Sometimes your reader comments frighten even me, in the way they second guess you…
I know. i’ve learnt to ignore the real fruitcakes

On the other hand though, your blog is the one I come to when I need inspiration and to see support of a writer/female/mother/blogger… of which you are all.
The one thing i keep telling myself is that 99% of the feedback i get is overwhelmingly positive. Ok, so the 1% are REALLY bad, but its only 1%. That helps me. But to have a full time, online, 24 hour on call support base of potential friends, doctors, psychiatrists etc – thats huge.

Your worst experience of fruit cakes? I remember a while back you had someone posting as a dead child?
The very worst thing that happened to me is that i somehow managed to offfend one reader, and she started a huge vendetta against me. She formed a secret website dedicated to bashing me, saying nasty things about me. I shouldn’t have cared so much, but i did. I was terribly upset, they said some pretty nasty things.

My late boyfriend bought a copy of your book, and felt that poor Marko didn’t get enough credit (in the book) for his part in making A & K. We actually had a huge argument over this. How does he handle the whole sperm donating bit, ever get teased by mates?
I suppose it is a guy thing. Let me put it this way: in order for us to have a baby, we both had to play a part. Marko had to donate some sperm. I had to undergo 3 diagnostic operations, 9 IVF’s, many, many months of hyper stimulation with hormones, injections, blood draws, 100′s of doctors appointments, bloated ovaries, transvaginal aspiration of the eggs. So um, yeah. the donating sperm thing? He can do that.

You’ve spoken about his anal tendancies before, hows that working for him these days, having two ankle biters around?
Its been a massive adjustment for him. i do feel sorry for him sometimes. i’ll give him credit for that, he has relaxed his analness a lot! He is still anal, but he also knows when it just let it go. We balance each other out well – I am way too soft wth the kids, and he makes sure they dont wreck the entire house.

What does Tertia do for Tertia?
I must have alone time. i need alone time to calm my crazy insides down, so I take an hour every night, completely on my own, in front of the computer with a glass of wine and i read blogs, check email etc. That is tertia time.

Do you still maintain your nose is smaller than sister Mels?
It is smaller!

What were your first words this morning?
"So, are you not dead?" Am terrible, unsympathetic wife – Marko had chest pains last night, said he might die during the night. I told him not to wake me, its just indigestion. You know what men are like.

Oh yes. Self professed wine lover, what would you drink if wine was discontinued?
Shite, difficult one. Probably savanah light during the day and G&T’s at night.

If I could give you a goody bag with 5 items, what would they be?
Sjoe, hold – nice question. I want to take some time to daydream about getting a goody bag like that… Must think properly about what i want in it.

(…some minutes go by) Good lord woman, i said FIVE ITEMS!
Ha! Some kind of foot balm thing. I am very into making sure my feet look nice. Then, a nice face mask thingy, something cooling and calming. A back massage thingy that I could massage my own back, some pretty hair clips to tie my hair up with and a new bottle of perfume – I’ve run out of my old one and i need a change

Very nice! Which perfume do you need a change from?
Before i got pregnant I wore Angel for years. But once I was pregnant, I couldn’t stand the smell of it, so now i’ve been kind of flitting between perfumes, not really sure what i like. I won a bottle of Nina Ricci, I think its called.

I was sent over 20 emails requesting you as an interviewee (after I had already decided on you, mind), which proves that my readers not only are cheating assholes, but admirers of you. SO. What are your final words, to the fans:
Life is too short to be unhappy. Follow your dream, believe in yourself and never do things just because you are supposed to. Do things that feel right to you. If I had listened to all the people who told me that God/Fate/Nature didn’t want me to be a mother, then I wouldn’t have my two beautiful children today. Don’t live a half life, follow your heart.

Read more on Tertia, her babies Adam & Kate, Sergeant major Marko (who’s actually just a marsh mellowy type of nice guy), Rose the domestic with attitude, Sister Mel (with the bigger nose) & the grandparents daily on her website, So Close. It is in popular demand, and its a race to comment first. Lots of variety and spice up for grabs, and believe it or not, its not only for the fembots, guys read her too.

To buy Tertia’s book written in hilarious detail of her infertile journey, click this link.