Ponderings…

Love should be forever.  It makes me sad to see people celebrating divorce.  Not that I don’t believe in divorce, per se’, it’s just sad that it happens is all.  Maybe it comes from me being a child out of a broken home, but divorce is not a nice thing. It’s saying goodbye to broken homes, dreams and relationships.  It’s a death of something once looked forward to.  It’s washing away memories of a life shared with another human being.  I just feel that marriage is meant to be commitment to the person you love, for the rest of your life.  It’s sad that sometimes it doesn’t work out that way.  The closet romantic in me cries a sad little howl at the sadness of love ending.  It turns out that I may just be naive on this, I suppose.

Friendships are hard.  Especially when you fight like sisters.  Hell, I don’t even fight with my sisters like I do with some of my friends.  What’s worse though, not saying anything and letting all the hurt build up inside?  I’m grateful for my friends, even though sometimes I forget to tell them or show it.  Britt and Flea are a testament to how thoughtless I can be sometimes, and I hope that all of my friends realize that even though I’ve been in my own world, I love them very much.  I suppose it goes back to what I said in a protected post I wrote not long ago.

I suppose that’s all I really wanted to say.  I’ll end off with telling you that I’ve just had my monthly wax *insert expletives here*. On the up side, my face is totally rosey (read: red and blotchy).  But I’m BEAUTIFUL, no matter what they say…

The Sunflower Fund

At 24 years old, fresh out of varsity you have so many opportunities that lie ahead and exciting choices that are ready to be made. For Niki, his bike is sitting in the corner and beginning to rust, his job applications are sitting in a dust pile on the floor and his memories of what it feels like to be ‘normal’ seem to have gotten lost, forever. There is no such thing as hope. There is no such th

ing as positive thinking. Anyone else would have given up by now, but Niki holds his head up high, smiles and says “I am going to make the best of things, while I am still here”.

Niki suffers from a deadly and not so rare disease known as Leukaemia. For those who are not familiar with this form of cancer, it is the result of DNA changes which activate cancer-causing cells or deactivates cancer-suppressing cells. These changes may occur spontaneously and can be influenced by genetic factors. This form of cancer can be treated with Chemo therapy, but unlike all the other types of cancer, it cannot ‘cure’ cancer. The only way to get rid of Leukaemia is to have a bone marrow transplant from an exact match donor, which is 1:100 000. So in short, the chance of survival is extremely low, and very unlikely. This is not a disease you can live with. It is lethal to the most extreme.

The scariest thing about Leukaemia is that it mostly occurs in young people and is difficult to diagnose as symptoms include feeling fluey and tired, amongst others. The only way to stop this disease from killing innocent youth is for every person to have 2 spoons of their blood tested and placed on the international registry so that young people suffering from this nightmare have the opportunity to live again, everyone deserves a chance at life.

Today Niki is heading to Cape Town to ride the Argus for the 10th time in a row. Even though he hasn’t been able to stay fit and in practice as his chemo sessions have made him too weak, he wants to take part as he remembers that he needs to live every moment like its the last, because he hasn’t found a donor match so literally every moment is his last.

Don’t wait for this silent murderer to affect someone you know to make you want to test your blood.  Visit www.sunflowerfund.org.za and follow the simple and pain free steps. You could save a precious life, you could be a hero.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Certain things in life are just basically going to get you down.  Other things are guaranteed to lift you up. Exposing yourself to the public is one of the former.  I don’t do well with critism, I never have.  But I’m learning okay.  I’m learning to not punch you in the fucking face when you diss me handle critism and treat is with the respect it was given.

I have to remember that not everyone I meet will like me, or what I do, or even who I represent.  Sometimes no matter how hard I try, I’ll never please everyone. So this is me toughening up, holding my chin a bit higher, pulling a middle finger putting a smile on my face and saying;

Bring it on, bitches, I can take anything you’re willing to give

Picnicing under the stars. LMAO

Living in at The Shath and in its neighbourhood has provided endless entertainment for Cath, Cam and myself.

Just tonight we have had the local police roaming the streets two metres at a time announcing a community policing forum.  Repeatedly. Again and again. Every two metres:

*police siren woooo eeeep wooo* and then over the speakers;
“Vhis are a reminder, tomorrow even-eeng at va corn-err off X and Y Straat that there are being a community policing forum for the community en va Police”.

REPEAT.  SIREN, ANNOUNCEMENT, DRIVE TWO METRES, REPEAT SIREN, ANNOUNCEMENT, DRIVE TWO METRES.  This being at 7.30pm, when normal families are putting kids to bed and normal bloggers are sitting down to watch Joey on SABC 3.

After giving up on putting Cam to bed while the copper does his announcements, Cath goes outside to smoke and spots a homeless couple in the road right outside our apartment block and comes to call me.  We have a habit of spying on everyone in our neighbourhood from either of our balconies.  By the time I got there, they were rolling out the blankets and setting up for a picnic under the stars, right in our garden!

Our first reaction was to call the Police, but then the police car strolled right on past and didn’t care.  Eventually the local station picked up the phone and by the time Cath got the message through that we needed vagrants to be removed, the hobos had heard everything (we were directly above them on our balcony) and removed themselves.  The following conversation takes place:

Cath: Ok, sorry, don’t send a car.  The homeless people have gone.
Cop: eh?
Cath: The people you had to chase away have left. You don’t have to come through.
Cop: No, it is fine – we are on our way, okay? Plus minus forty meeneets.
Cath: No, seriously, don’t send a cop car – they have removed themselves from our property.
Cops: Yebo, we weel remoof them, don’t worrr.
Cath: NO! YOU’RE NOT LISTENING! I DON’T WANT ANY POLICE TO COME HERE NOW!
Cops: Because why you phoning then?
Cath: Sigh (tears in eyes) Please. Please just cancel the call out.
Cops: Oh. Ehwe.  You have no need now?
Cath: No, no need, the homeless people are not here anymore.  Please. Cancel the call out.
Cops: Ok, thank you goodbye.

Half an hour later the homeless couple came back. They are currently sleeping under their blankets and are folded into a ball on the grass.  We didn’t have the strength to call the police again.

If they come back tomorrow, I’ll ask them to leave myself.

Life’s waste

Waste is seeing a six year old in a hospital bed with no hair
Waste is having the perfect pizza being eaten in front of you while on diet
Waste is buying the perfect pair of shoes in the wrong colour
Waste is finally learning how to master that yoga pose and then breaking a leg

Waste is having a phone with ipod capabilities without the earphones
Waste is watching tv without sound
Waste is having a balcony with no view
Waste is meeting the perfect man but finding out he’s gay

Waste is accepting pregnancy and then suffering a miscarriage
Waste is having survived cancer only to die from suicide
Waste is coming home to a robbed house a week after you cancel insurance
Waste is looking gorgeous for hours and then only being seen after you’ve changed into your house clothes

Waste is not being with the one you love.

Waste. It’s the essence of life, but life wouldn’t be worth it without the lessons you get out of Waste.

My thought for the day. Use it, don’t use it…

Contentment is

• jumping on a trampoline and not having to worry about the wobbles in front of an almost three year old
• watching in awe as a plain little white sweety gets magically transformed into a froggie
• being scolded for making waves in the pool made of a tinker bell blankie
• lying in bed and having my hand kissed by the softest, smallest mouth but knowing it comes from the biggest heart
• making cheese sandwiches at bed time to be placed on the barbie plate
• singing ‘rain rain go away’ while dancing under an umbrella in the lounge
• hearing the indoor rainbow being described as ‘pink, purple, pink and green with hearts on it’
• being kicked out of the bed because its Mommy time,  I can so appreciate that
• knowing I can experience these things and smile, even though it makes me miss my own little girl so much

I am so lucky.  I am so happy.  I am so bittersweetly sad.

Most of all, I am so thankful to share a part of this wonderful little human and thankful to be allowed to share a part of myself with her.

A threat to the creator

If someone came up to you right now, this very minute, while you were staring at this very screen, and offered you a penny that would allegedly allow for all the happiness in the world – would you take them seriously?

What if there was a simple solution to the pursuit of happiness?

What if you’re on the road but just on the wrong track?

What if your happiness is only as good as this?

Would you be satisfied?

I want that fucken penny! I want an easy way out to happiness.  I want things to go smoothly. I want life to be a joyride. I’m tired of going uphill man, my muscles are stiff!

The great two 00 eight has to be that for me.  If not, thats it – I’m writing a letter of complaint to the creator, serious. And it will be bitchy, bru!

Don’t hate me for this image – but come on, seriously, its funny!