The 2009 Nerdy Nom-noms are open!

For those of you not on Twitter (n00bs) I have a surprise! I was halfway through a post of my personal 2009 Hotties yesterday when a comment or ten came through from the nerd boys suggesting they be included, then the girls jumped on the bandwagon too! Not mentioning any names or anything though, it did plant a little seed in my head; I have decided to run an online hotness pageant! Please say hello to The Sexiest Nerdies 2009 Awards, aka The Nerdies (play on the word ‘Nudies’ – I’m so bloody witty, really).

How it will work:

You (yes, you) will nominate your online hottie of choice by using means of my Twitter stream, email or comment right here on this very post. I want names and links of your nominees, people. I will blog the entire process and let you in on who’s who after I’ve fully investigated their backgrounds, DNA samples, swimwear modeling & abilities to stand out.

The Nerdy Nom-noms:

You can nominate as many Nerdies as you like, for whichever reason you like. I will then narrow the Nom-noms down to categories and then finals. Nominations have come from the guys mostly, so girls stop being so bloody shy already!

The Rules & Regs:

The nominees must either be South African, or reside in South Africa
The nominees must have an online presence, be it a blog, a twitter account or even just an owner of an online company.
The nominees should be nominated for their personalities more than anything else, this is onlinedom okes, shallowness is null and void here. Or so they say.
The judge’s decision is final. Unless you come up with good bribery or sexual favours second to none. I like chocolates. I’m just saying. Steve is the male judge. He likes head-banging music. And fluffy bunnies.

Right. Any questions needing to be asked may be done so here.
SUBMIT YOUR NERDY NOM-NOMS NOW!

Win free stuff for le bedroom/bathroom/office – whichever you prefer, really.

Dear young (whisper: and sexy) Chris from iMod has been receiving a bit of flack on muti for his blog recently. Something about it not being geeky enough to earn Tech Blog 2008 award.  I say pooh to that! I am a lurker usually, I enjoy his writing and he’s informative and random, my two favourite things in a blogger. 

Whilst stalking reading Chris yesterday, I then noticed that he’s opened up a compo to bloggers of a rather, personal nature and I thought “well, why the hell not – let me be the first chickie brave enough to enter”. Because hey, if I was a guy I would totally be okay with everyone knowing I was sometimes a wanker, so why be coy just for the reason of being female? 

And so, here I am, telling you fabulous readers, to follow suit and enter yourselves, if not for the desperate need to have some quality time with your privates in self loving, then to support the worthy cause of mutual happiness by the bodies at http://www.hustlerextreme.co.za/.  Come now, I know you want to. 

I know that technically I am supposed to only list one of their products, but a service caught my beady little eye and I feel that since I am the last South African twenty something female not about to run off and get married and also the fact that I make one hell of a good bridesmaid, knowing about what they can offer is a brilliant feat of success on my part since I oft end up throwing the bachelorette parties for all my ball and chain buddies. 

Also, lets face it, my vibrator broke months ago, I’m kinda in need – you know what I’m saying?

Go me!

I have syphallis in my peter pointer

I think.  Its this disgusting little chunk out of the pointing digit and it looks gross!  Is it possible to get a sexual disease in ones finger?  Without having actual sex beforehand?

I think I should get laid.  No point in dying from sexual diseases in digit without the fun parts that should get me there in the first place.

Searches that lead (weird) people to this site

1.    Slipper hurt my foot.  (Well Shame, you poor person you.  Please explain to me how Mr. Google can assist you with this current problem?)

2.    How to get drunk girls home with me.  (Well, Sparky, this is how:  make sure your nails are clean, because no woman in her right mind will let you touch her anywhere with dirty nails.  Once that’s sorted, ensure your person looks presentable and that you are not a sex freak look-a-like.  Girls don’t really like that much.  How you actually get the drunk girl to your actual house I don’t actually know.  Maybe you could ask Jeffery Dahlmer, you sick Fuck!)

3.    Woman in KZN looking for audult fun.  (The place to go:  Teasers.  You can’t touch them much, but maybe if you sit on your hand long enough and call it Foxy, you might find some loving with a difference once you get back home.  Jerk off.  And its adult.  ADULT.)

4.    Famdamily.  (I have one of those too!  Except, mine is slightly bigger than yours and my dad can kick your dads ass.)

5.    Portable Pussy.  (It was a joke people, sheesh!  On a serious note, I thought only my internet mate and I were this insane, you don’t actually believe those things are real, do you?)

6.    Doing dead people hair for funerals.  (Wow, that must be a totally awesome job.  Not.)

7.    Things to do for boyfriends and girlfriends.  (Well now, one or two things you could try:  1.  kamasutra 2.  handcuffs.)

8.    Something dying inside of me.  (Dear god, did you eat a frog?  I hear those things can’t live long inside you. Get medical assistance, guy, like now!)

9.    Is my son doing crack?  (Jeez, lady, I dunno!  You should get one of those drug checker thingies.  That might help.)

10.   Going home to Jesus.  (Well, lets hope he cooked me an apple pie, yo.  He’s good at that.  I’m so glad I married Jesus. Sigh)

11.    I am busy spring cleaning (well good for you! You missed a spot, right there behind your anal tendancies)

12.   Fuck off stupid bitch (well now! didn’t your mother ever wash your mouth out with soap when you were so rude?)

13.   "i’m worth more than that" (you keep telling yourself that, sunshine)

14.   Rhyme sheens (leans? cleans? preens? its not that hard really)

15.   They make you lay on a cold hospital bed (You could always ask them to warm up the hospital sheets?)

16.   I am a boy and i was a girl (wow.  Now there’s some ingredients for confusion. Sorry for you buddy)

17.   Are you sarcastic? (Who, me?  Never. Evar. Like, never, ever, ever. Pssh.) 

18.   Wossa virgin?  (Someone who doesn’t like bumping uglies)

I am full of theory this morning.

Edited to add, just for KaB – go read this to learn more about my colonial and respectable brothers. Dipshits.

I’ve been wondering… do you think what you are like as a child is an indication for what you will one day turn out to be as an adult?

Some people do believe that, then there are others (not unlike me) who believe that you are your own person and you change all the time, so really, who you were when you were a snotty six year old has no bearing on who you should be today.

But then I went through some childhood things that I used to have up in my room, which made me remember what I was like now and how little I have changed. For a few examples:

1. Age six, churchyard, Sunday, 1990. Sheena has all the little church goer goodie two shoes up in a tree singing “Lets talk about sex, baby, lets talk about you. and. me”. The Sunday school teacher was mortified, blood red and very very angry. I remember being sent to the Minister and him and I solemnly prayed for my sins and begged the Lord Jesus for forgiveness and savior. Ja. That still hasn’t happened. And then I was expelled from Sunday School. To this day I am not religious…
2. I had a picture of Leo di Caprio on my bedroom wall (that was there for years, he fuelled my every teenage fantasy when I was learning about my body, until my brothers shot him full of holes with their BB guns through my bedroom window). I still Love blonde blue eyed men.
3. I once ate an entire tin of Frisco coffee with a teaspoon when I was 8. I still hate the bloody stuff.
4. At fifteen, I was made to go out with ten boys and my mate Taryn, to a house I had never been to. I was the youngest out of the lot, so the most easily influenced. Or so I said to my Mommy at the time. To cut a long story short, I got hammered and passed out in a flowerbed outside. My mate didn’t even notice I was gone, and only when her parentals were due to pick us up did she realise how drunk I was. So just as every friend would have done, she threw me in an ice cold bath naked. Not. Let me rephrase that, she threw me in an ice cold bath naked, with all the boys in the same room and then left to go outside for a smoke. To this day I don’t know what happened in there but I will never ever allow myself to get that out of control again, because I remember waking up the next day knowing something was wrong, but I couldn’t place my finger on what it was. When the parents finally dropped me off at home, my mother raced downstairs and was convinced I had “smoked drugs” while Kev (My other dad) calmly carried me upstairs and put me in bed. The next day I had to go hiking as punishment on the longest trail known to man kind. Nothing much has changed there, I still win my dad over, my mom still freaks out and panicks, I still hate hiking, and I still don’t talk to Taryn. But one thing it did do, was make me aware of how badly things can go when I am not in control. So to this day, when I occasionally do drink, I never over do it, and I always make sure the people I am with are trustworthy.
5. When I was younger, my brothers told me that the reason that dude in the bible was able to split so many fish for the hungry people was because they mated with young girls who had freckles. To this day I am petrified of swimming in the sea, and especially scared of fish.

So. There is my theory. What do you think? Do we change who we are as adults, or does our childhood experiences shape us into the people we are today?