1. The Jan van Riebeck statuesque Flea manages to pull off when pished.
2. The allowance of Flea being pregnant around the time of my pending marriage. Allowance being nil, I don’t want a fat bridesmaid; Pending marriage has yet to be decided on, with who, when or how I shall pledge my eternal love and life to one penoos*.
3. The immense talent biscuit makers have. Someone should give The Bakersman a medal, like serious. Biscuits are the bomb.
4. Joining in on the shitting out of Neighbour Jeremy, who happens to be married to Flea, who happened to be shitting him out, which is when I joined in. Men should never join a ladies quality evening together. It can be dangerous to insist on watching Die Hard 4 when the ladies have perfectly good chic flicks set aside. Dammit.
5. The topic of being a hermaphrodite. That must be pretty confusing. Would you want to shag a boy with your cookie? Or a girl with your penoos? Or if you were really bored at home, would you be able to shag yourself?
6. Mxiting with My friendly friend T, calling her now ex bf names & discussing which items of his belongings she should set alight in front of his house. She was sadly dumped late on Saturday night in a night club, in front of all his friends. I have renamed him to Anoos Puke.

High-lights of this weekend:

1. I have decided to open up a school for scorned ladies, I shall call it: Bunnyboilers-R-us
2. Pouring Rasberry flavoured Absolute Vodka on the rocks down T’s throat to soothe her heart ache. It worked, for about half an hour.
3. Watching two monkeys get it on up in the tree above my bedroom window on Saturday night. Fuckers in every sense of the word, evidently.
4. Chatting to Flea, knees perched ontop of my new green leather lounge suite, while she heats up a garlic roll in the microwave. I actually cannot even describe this to you, its way too unbelievable. She somehow managed to turn a normal garlic roll that needed heating up into a little black ball of charcoal. Using a MICROWAVE. Here, have some evidence:

What the garlic roll should look like:

How Flea destroyed it:

And that about sums it up. Hope yours was as interesting as mine.

*Penis, except you say it with a ‘oos’ instead of ‘is’. Sheena-style bebe, now thats what I’m talkin’ bout, yo.