Endeavour to vote your heart out.

Good day,

I am Mr. Vincent Cheng, GBS, JP Chairman of the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited.

I have a business proposal of Twenty Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars only for you to transact with me from my bank to your country.Having gone through a methodical search, I decided to contact you hoping that you will find this proposal interesting. Please on your confirmation of this message and indicating your interest. All confirmable documents to back up the claims will be made available to you prior to your acceptance and as soon as I receive your return mail Via my email address: vincentcheng211@yahoo.co.jp and I will let you know what is required of you,your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Endeavour to let me know your decision rather than keep me waiting.

Best Regards,

Mr.Vincent Cheng.

Woo!  I’m going to be RICH, BITCHES!  I love how he ends off with “Endeavour to let me know…”  I think that’s going to be my new call to action for everything!

I feel so rested this week after having my first proper do-nothing weekend in 3 weeks.  On Saturday I was super productive and spent the ENTIRE DAY IN BED.  It was amazing.  I’ve also managed to catch up on most of the blogs I read, so that was very cool too.

Speaking of bloggers, SA Blog Awards have kicked off!  If you haven’t already noticed the gigantic badge in my sidebar to the right ———->, please notice it now.  Alternatively, notice this below instead:

Endeavour to vote for me, dudes.  If you want.  Or not.  Whatevs.

I HAVEN’T BEEN A FINALIST SINCE 2009 GUYS, COME ON, VOTE FOOOOOOR MEEEEEEEEEE?

From Cheerleader to Geekleader.

All my life I grew up as the rebel, the girl who wouldn’t turn down a joint and the student who never attended class.  I was the “popular” girl, the one who lead and not followed and the one who was always asked out first to any social event.  I had no desire to feed my brain because my heart was overflowing.  Things changed over the years, thankfully.  I’ve become a little bit more mature, a lot less shallow and huge heaps more in touch with who I really am:  the eccentric loud chickie not afraid to chase her dreams or follow her head, even if it sometimes leads to failure.

So much of this change needs to be attributed to the life I’ve lead and the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons I’ve learnt.  Lessons that I wouldn’t change for anything if it meant I would turn out different to how I am now.  Aside from the lessons and mistakes, I’ve come to know myself through my writing.  Someone once pointed out that I write so much because its the only time I can actually slow my thought process down enough so that I can understand my own mind, and they were so correct.

Which leads me to my topic of today.  Without my blog, my writing wouldn’t mean nearly as much to me.  Being online and having my words read by others has done more for my soul than anything else has.  In blogging I have learnt to be honest with myself and share things with people I’ve (mostly) never met face to face.  And here enters Social Media & Web 2.0.

A conversation I had last night got me to thinking.  My online life up until now has always left me putting myself into my self made “Cosmetic Geek” category.   I’ve felt like a fraud, or a fly on the wall a lot lately as I’m helping to set up the Durban 27 Dinner again (which for those of you left clueless is a geek dinner event specifically for the purpose of networking with fellow onliners) and having looked at the guest list the other day, mine was the only name put down that didn’t “technically” fit in with the crowd.  Last night Bergen pointed out to me just how wrong I was, in such a way that left me sitting back with a smile on my face.  I may not be in IT or web developement (yet) or know exactly how to code or write scripts to make things work on the internet, but I have learnt more than the average nongeek. I’ve become my own brand of geek.

I have my own blog, which I maintain myself.  Most of the design issues are handled by me and although more often than not I call on my guy geeks to help with this or that, all technical problems essentially get fixed by yours truly.  I’ve learnt how to edit basic code, align things in html, a bit of graphic design, I”m a social media whore and I’ve even whoreganised my own nerdy competition which was so much more succcessful than I ever anticipated.

I might not know how to make my own plug-ins or explain to you what exactly a ping is, but goddamnit I’m sure trying to learn.  This year my goal is to conquer SEO.  Search Engine Optimisation.  I’ve also been asked to design a small little company website and I’m even being paid for it!  A handful of months ago I would have laughed at myself even.

Cheerleaders don’t do html, or know terms like “FTW!” and “404 Errors”, but this cheerleader sure does.  She’s happy to be a cosmetic geek, one with all of the determination to learn this webby tech stuff, but none of the Tech IQ. Yet.  This cheerleader does belong to the geek world.  And this cheerleader, she’s proud of it.

Market research: involving my readers.

I know most of you lurk around these parts except for a few die-hard commenters (who I love with my whole heart – kiss kiss) but please could the rest of you click that link from your reader, or just the comments tab if you’re already here on the page, just this once and come talk to me?  I need some assvice and input from all of you.

Without going into any specifics, I’m working on a project.  I could go all Tyler Reed on your ass and name it, something like “Project Bee” if that’d help me sound more dedicated?  But while I’m doing the background slog work I’d like to do some market research with you guys.  So:

• In an online magazine, what do you like to read?  Gadgets, life stories, gigs, etc.
• Do you prefer long detailed and informed posts, or quick ones that outline the high lights of the story?
• What style theme do you prefer – lots of tabs, click through pages?
• What is interesting to you with regards to the internet?

I would love any feedback or suggestions from you.  No matter how insignificant or unrelated it might seem. Pretty please with a cherry on top?

The Nerdies Winners, announced!

1. A limited edition Moral Fibre T-shirt full of goodness, flair & attitude.
2. One .co.za domain plus THREE MONTHS free hosting from The Creative Foundation.
3. A luxury Body Thrills hamper homemade especially by ExMi for each individual.
4. Free Dinner at Capello Sandton from Garsen Subramoney to the value of R300.
5. An anonymous prize:A bottle of Rupert & Rothchild Red vino for the dude and a Charlotte Rhys hamper for the girl.
6. And then, excitingly:  one final mystery prize from Simon B. To be sent to the winners and they can tell you what they got.  Sneaky, sneaky huh?

Those are the prizes that will be sent through to the two winners.  Lucky fuckers.The bidding wars proceeds will be sent to the NPO Charity mentioned previously, we’re still tallying up the total amount raised.  Any donations are welcome at any time.  I will obtain the banking details and blog them asap, okay?Before I announce the winners, I would like to thank the following people:

• Garsen Subramoney, Vincent & Talita, Fring SA, The Creative Foundation, ExMi and The Anonymouse who all donated prizes unexpectedly and so generously.
• SimonB, Miss_P & Snowgoose, Byron & ExMi amongst others for making such an effort and being such a source of entertainment in this pageant.
• Don for being so godamned cute and funny as hell, especially in his under rods & for suggesting a ball gown and swimwear.
• Mike Stopforth for playing along and letting us girls rip him to shreds with challenges and endless flirtation.  You’re still my no.1 blog crush of the moment, boyo. 
• Steve for being the male judge who judged the females.  Thanks Stevo, I totally agree with your decision. 

I honestly didn’t think my decision would be very hard but I was wrong.  The thing is, I had to keep reminding myself that this was just a tongue in cheek pageant and that the fate of the blogosphere didn’t actually rely upon our decisions as to who would be crowned The Sexiest Nerdy 2009.  But still, I have this annoying voice at the back of my head whispering “but if you choose him, the geeks will think [this] and if you don’t choose him, everyone will assume [that]“.  And so I took my emotions and reservations out of it, looked at the characters at hand and knew I needed further enforcement.  A chat with my trusty friend Cath, who knows me and my thought process better than most ever will.  This is what she had to say:The one I’d select is nice, approachable, always ready to help and support, and never shoves his shit down other peoples throats.  Also, he’s not afraid to be himself online and does not do a “persona”.  I’d imagine him to also be huggable and clever.Immediately I knew.  Not because the rest of the contestants don’t fit that bill, but because one of them sprung to those specs more so than others.  And so I congratulate Andre Van Rooyen, for being South Africa’s Sexiest Nerdy for 2009.  Well done, and more importantly, thank you.  For sharing yourself and the treasures that pop out of your personality with all of us online.  We’re lucky to be able to interract with & have you with us. Also, your eyes fortell something that most girls wish to be told.Then, luckily for the girls, I was fortunate enough to secure Steve as our male judge.  He was given total power over choice I think he did a sterling job.  Here are his words:I always knew the decision would be tough as hell but I have to go for Suetjie. The Cow_Grrl is geeky and pretty at the sametime. I think if we have this again next year, Heidi [Snowgoose] will take it. I’d love to declare a draw between the two of them but Suetjie got more votes so rightfully I choose her.  Via email, twitter, sms and blog comments, she’s been a pillar of strength to many and coped with all her own issues as well. Thats hectic inner strength and resolve. Reasons:
1) well she *IS* the cow_grrrl
2) has some of South Africa’s finest working for her.
3) She is an avid blogger and keeps us all updated on everything all the time.
4) She had an incredibly tough year and still supported a lot of us.
5) She’s HAWT, I would never have guessed that she was a mom of two teenagers!Thank you to everyone involved.  You’ve surpassed my expectations of participation and coolness.  We’ll definitely have a go at this again next year, me thinks.  I’ll be contacting the winners shortly regarding prizes, and I’ll keep you all informed of the bidding finalizations and when/how/why the donations and proceeds go to the charity.And that about sums it up.  If I had an MC closing this deal, I’m sure he’d end with a joke or something.  So here’s my favourite joke of the moment:What’s pink and fluffy?Pink fluff.What’s blue and fluffy?Blue fluff holding its breath.What’s green and fluffy?1972′s world Hide and Seek champion.Ba-da-ba-da-BOOM-DASH-DING!

The 2009 Nerdy Nom-noms are open!

For those of you not on Twitter (n00bs) I have a surprise! I was halfway through a post of my personal 2009 Hotties yesterday when a comment or ten came through from the nerd boys suggesting they be included, then the girls jumped on the bandwagon too! Not mentioning any names or anything though, it did plant a little seed in my head; I have decided to run an online hotness pageant! Please say hello to The Sexiest Nerdies 2009 Awards, aka The Nerdies (play on the word ‘Nudies’ – I’m so bloody witty, really).

How it will work:

You (yes, you) will nominate your online hottie of choice by using means of my Twitter stream, email or comment right here on this very post. I want names and links of your nominees, people. I will blog the entire process and let you in on who’s who after I’ve fully investigated their backgrounds, DNA samples, swimwear modeling & abilities to stand out.

The Nerdy Nom-noms:

You can nominate as many Nerdies as you like, for whichever reason you like. I will then narrow the Nom-noms down to categories and then finals. Nominations have come from the guys mostly, so girls stop being so bloody shy already!

The Rules & Regs:

The nominees must either be South African, or reside in South Africa
The nominees must have an online presence, be it a blog, a twitter account or even just an owner of an online company.
The nominees should be nominated for their personalities more than anything else, this is onlinedom okes, shallowness is null and void here. Or so they say.
The judge’s decision is final. Unless you come up with good bribery or sexual favours second to none. I like chocolates. I’m just saying. Steve is the male judge. He likes head-banging music. And fluffy bunnies.

Right. Any questions needing to be asked may be done so here.
SUBMIT YOUR NERDY NOM-NOMS NOW!

For Spider.

I wrote this months ago.  I’ve never been brave enough to post it, aside from showing it to SomeoneElse, who sort of influenced me in writing these feelings down.  I’ll never send it to the one who it was meant for.  I’m terrified he reads it, I’m terrified even more that he’ll listen.  After all this time, he’s still so prominent in my life.

It’s not that I don’t want you to be a part of my life anymore. It’s not that I don’t love you anymore, I always will. I just don’t know how to share you. In order for me to remain sane, I have to let you go. In order for me to remain sane, you need to let me move on. I love you, but now I crave release:

You said
It’ll be alright
I say

Don’t cry
Don’t shed a tear
But when you wake up
I’ll can’t still be here
When you wake up
You’ll have to battle your fears
So that I can…

Take my heart back
Leave your pictures on the floor
Steal back my memories
I can’t take it anymore
I’ve cried my eyes out
And now I face the years
The way you loved me
Took away all the tears

Just a little more time was all we needed
Just a little time for me to see
The heartache that life can give you
I just wish of it I was free
But now I’ll…

Take my heart back
Leave your pictures on the floor
Steal back my memories
I can’t take it anymore
I’ve cried my eyes out
And now I face the years
The way you loved me
Vanished all the tears

Be happy
It’s all I want
Be true to yourself
It’s all I want
Be safe now
It’s all I want
Be loved now
It’s all I want

Besides for wanting you.

So much of happiness going on here.

I am no longer sticking my head in the sand.  I don’t feel as anxious or as worried about the immediate future.  Once again, my life has changed but I have so many things to look forward to:

• Sue is coming to Durban.
• Vince and Talita are introducing me to The Best Pizza In The World ™ soon.
• Cath is getting a new red Nigel.
• Cameron says ‘awesome’ now.
• My first god daughter has just turned 6.  Six!  Three weeks after Kiera was born, Nikki came into my life too and she is now six.  I sacrifice my fear of fish for her on Saturday, at uShaka Marine World.  But I do it gladly, for she is now six!
• I have things to write about.  The block is gone!
• My own bed is back with me and it is soooo comfy.
• I absolutely love my new bedroom.

Things that went on outside of this blog weren’t told about, but I’m happy to report that I am on the mend mentally, physically, emotionally and metaphorically.  Also literally, just for good measure.

And finally, are you read for it?  It’s a big piece of news: I am getting my ass into gear and am going on a holiday to CAPE TOWN!

For those of you who don’t know, I left Cape Town in a bit of a hurry earlier this year. A flight was booked in the middle of the night.  I said to myself that I wouldn’t hurry back.  But let’s face it, Cape Town has not only the mowwwwwntin, but a select few people that actually rock my world, and these people have convinced me to come to them, in manner of Jesus and his disciples*.  Except if anyone is going to be the messiah, it sure as shit isn’t going to be me.

I’m feeling so inspired, inspirational and insipid at the same time.  I write, write, write and write some more, and for the first time in a while, I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. An actual goofy assed, “look at me I’m happy” grin.

Fake It November ™ is going to be a brilliant month, I can feel it.  More importantly, I can hardly contain myself.  I. Can. Hardly. Contain. Myself.
* Ha ha, please don’t send me hate mail, I didn’t mean it.

So you like what you see? Well, I do. Thats what counts. A thank you speech:

So, a lot of you have mentioned that this is my 4th move in a year, and that you are now getting motion sickness. Ag toughies man, pull up your socks and take it like a man!

Hehe, ag I’m only joking. You’re right, of course. It has been a roller coaster ride following me around the interwebz and I thank you for those who have stuck with me through think and thin.

I originally was going to stick with my shebee.wordpress blog as it was simple and free and did the job. But those of you who know me that I am nothing if not extravagant, and quite frankly, it just wasn’t pretty enough for me. For the geeks though, I missed out on polls, plug-in’s, theme changing abilities and basically, the freedom a self-hosted domain gives you. I was sort of content with my lot, until a friend of mine opened up a can of worms not so long ago.

Paul aka Peel-a-keys: Dude. I have hosting abilities, shebee.co.za is free, why don’t you get the domain and I’ll host it for you? At first I reacted much like a cat to water. Most of you will remember what happened the last time I had my own blog… the host was found wanting, to put it very fucking politely. I didn’t want to give someone that control over me again, I was worried that a friendship would be compromised again, I was lazy to redesign the website all over… endless reasons, and so I turned him down.

And then my birthday came around the corner, and I think he tried to impress me so that I could send him virtual blowjobs, because next thing I knew, shebee.co.za was my domain, registered and ev’thing and just waiting for me to pluck my theme and paint it with perfume.

By the time I finally got around to it, I realized just how much prep he actually did for me. Most plug-in’s were already installed, and he set up the word press compatability for me. I literally had to install the theme and tweak it to my own requirements. Nevertheless, I feel very special and loved and spoiled by Paul, and would like to officially say thank you and also state that I owe him a blowjob in between hosting fees and whatnot.

Also, I would like to point out that I have found a man with the patience of a Tibetan monk, who explains things to me in lay mans terms, step by step and is unbelievably helpful. Thank you Elton, your encouragement and tips and rescues when I stuff up are invaluable to me. Aside from making me giggle, I’m lucky to have you on my contacts list .

Then, finally, a special mention to Denny Coote(r). Ladies, this man has a sexy voice, let me tell you. Even when wired on mugg ‘n bean coffee after six hours. Thank you for coming to my rescue on Twitter last night just after I announced how badly I screwed up the style sheet of my theme.

Sorry, due to a proxy browser, the link button won’t show. So here’s where you need to click to read more about these divine modern day knights in shining armour:

PIELETIES: http://www.shebee.co.za/uncategorized/what-happens-behind-closed-screens
PAUL: http://pauldesousa.com
ELTON: http://eltonvanlingen.com
DENNY COOTER: http://denhamcoote.com

SURPRISE!!!! MY NEW LOOK :)

Sooooooooooo?  What do you think?

I *know*!  It’s beautiful, right?  If you were on twitter you would know all about the kinds of hell I went through with the set up, but its almost done and I am so happy with it.  My to do list goes as follows, please feel free to add on to it as you see fit in the comments section (how cool are the little stars everywhere?) below:

• figure out how to do the header and where
• Configure the reader on feedburner (google reader subscribers please don’t forget to re-add me under the new address!)
• Make these google ads give me money somehow
• Fix up google analytics
• Add the text widgets
• sort out amatomu / mybloglog codes
• Plug-ins: polls & comment follow up (possibly comment luv)

I’m so proud of myself.  Someone once told me that I shouldn’t even bother learning coding and design cause I would break the internet.  Well, trust me, I came close but I managed to (with a lot of help) get the site back to normal again.  Ultimately tho, I installed the theme and am editing all the little things by myself!  A huge deal for me since I’ve never done anything like this before.

And thats it for now!  Can you think of anything else I might have skipped out on?