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A conversation with my mother.
Mom: Sheena! I’ve decided to have a raging affair. There will be drama, tears and Kevin buying me flowers and knocking on the bedroom door in the middle of the night, begging me to come back to him.
Me: Are you planning on leaving my step-pa?!
Mom: well, no… but I’m so BORED! All I do is work, work, work. I need some excitement in my life! I have needs, you know.
Me: Euw, mom – don’t tell me about your “needs”. Kev’s only been gone a week, give the man a break and let him enjoy his holiday.
Mom: But I never go anywhere. My life is dull without you here, come home.
Me: What about Mozambique, you were there in July?
Mom: besides that!
Me: What about when you go away again in December soon?
Mom: ya, and besides that… I never go anywhere.
Me: Ma, what’s the drama with the boys now?
Mom: I’m going to speak in Afrikaans so dat Wokkie kannie ek hoor nie, hoor*?
Me: er, if you must…
Mom: so there I was, just minding my own business twee days ago…
[and she proceeds to recount the story in English anyway, with a few words of Afrikaans thrown in, like "daar, waneer & jislaaik". In the background, I hear Wokkie say "Ma, you know I can understand everything you're saying, right?"]
Well I suppose it’s better than the time she spoke Pigeon-Afrikaans so that the dogs couldn’t hear where she’d hidden their treats. True story.
*Yes, I know I’m murdering the Afrikaans language. Forgive me please, I’ve been out of school a long time. At least I’m not as bad as my mother though.
8 Comments to “A conversation with my mother.”
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Awards & Shiz
Runner up - Humour Category.
I fly to Durbs tomorrow for my sisters batcherlorette party. Thank you everyone for all the awesome ideas mailed through!
x
when the fuck are you and i going to be in the same province at the same time? lol
Shath Domination.
heh that’s a funny story!
Where in durban you having the party?
CC – starting out in Glenwood in the afternoon but will end up on the South Coast to include our old school friends and family.
I must agree with your mother. Life has not been dull since you moved to civilization. Whenever you go, you leave dullness behind!
YOur mom is hysterical!!!!
You so funny Sheen, Your Blog really cheers me up. I know my Afrikaans is versriklik my Zulu is so much better. Remember that time I spoke to Gerrit and Theo in afrikaans with zulu words in by accident and they looked at me as if i was mucking fad.
OMG… HOOOSING myself here!!