A conversation with my mother.

Mom: Sheena! I’ve decided to have a raging affair. There will be drama, tears and Kevin buying me flowers and knocking on the bedroom door in the middle of the night, begging me to come back to him.

Me: Are you planning on leaving my step-pa?!

Mom: well, no… but I’m so BORED! All I do is work, work, work. I need some excitement in my life!  I have needs, you know.

Me: Euw, mom – don’t tell me about your “needs”.  Kev’s only been gone a week, give the man a break and let him enjoy his holiday.

Mom: But I never go anywhere. My life is dull without you here, come home.

Me: What about Mozambique, you were there in July?

Mom: besides that!

Me: What about when you go away again in December soon?

Mom: ya, and besides that… I never go anywhere.

Me: Ma, what’s the drama with the boys now?

Mom: I’m going to speak in Afrikaans so dat Wokkie kannie ek hoor nie, hoor*?

Me: er, if you must…

Mom: so there I was, just minding my own business twee days ago…

[and she proceeds to recount the story in English anyway, with a few words of Afrikaans thrown in, like “daar, waneer & jislaaik”.  In the background, I hear Wokkie say “Ma, you know I can understand everything you’re saying, right?”]

Well I suppose it’s better than the time she spoke Pigeon-Afrikaans so that the dogs couldn’t hear where she’d hidden their treats.  True story.

*Yes, I know I’m murdering the Afrikaans language.  Forgive me please, I’ve been out of school a long time.  At least I’m not as bad as my mother though.


  1. MOM says:

    You so funny Sheen, Your Blog really cheers me up. I know my Afrikaans is versriklik my Zulu is so much better. Remember that time I spoke to Gerrit and Theo in afrikaans with zulu words in by accident and they looked at me as if i was mucking fad.

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