50 shade of omfgthisisridiculous.

I’ve caved.  After devouring the Hunger Games book series, I was at a loss with what to do with myself.  I walked around the house for a few days, hovered over Jon while he played with his new gadget (Samsung S3) for a few days, experimented with healthy cooking, twiddled my thumbs and then eventually thought ‘fuck it, I’m going to Amazon.com to download it, I give in!’ and loaded the site to my browser.

I read the reviews “So bad it’s so good”, “Please don’t waste your time, money or energy reading this book”, “Did a teenager write this?!??!?!!!?!” – ah, how wonderful.  A must read, obviously.  And so I clicked the buy button.  Within minutes, I’d curled up into the duvet and started reading.  50 Shades of Grey.  A masochistic love story, pretty much like Twilight, without the glittery vampires.  It’s basically a story of a brown-haired, mousy virgin, she falls in love with a stone cold CEO mogul who is hard-mouthed, controlling, stalkerish and obsessive.  He’s also ‘really, really hot’ if the author is to be believed.  Oh, yes, and he’s heavily into BDSM, rough sex, whips and cuffs, toys and nipple clamps. What kinky fuckery is this?  I must read more!

By the twelfth chapter, I’m hooked.  No biggie.  I can read this.  It’s tolerable, I think.  By the last chapter, I’m drooling for more.  I downloaded the second and third books within 2 days.  I’m almost halfway through the last at the moment.  It’s tripe, it’s ridiculous, it’s toe-curling.  Most of all, its given Jon and I lots to laugh and talk about.  For instance, the following chat on the way back from my mothers house:

Jon: “So how’s your book?”

Me: Guiltily hiding my iPhone, “What book?  I’m not reading 50 Shades of Darker, nuh-uh!”

Jon: With a glint in his eye, “Uh huh, I completely believe you.  What are they doing now?”

Me: “They’ve just started exploring anal, he’s busy with his pinky up her bum!”

Jon: Ah, yes, I can see why they’ve called it 50 Shades of Darker. It is a darker place, I suppose.

Anyway.  There’s my book review.  I say you should read it. It might give you a few ideas here and there, it might not.  Just saying.  Once you have read the books, follow this Twitter account for a laugh.

 

20 comments

  1. MeganTS says:

    Junx downloaded it for me a while ago and i’ve been avoiding reading it ever since. much like twishyte i’ll probably read it just so i can be well informed when i mock people that actually enjoy it.

  2. Robyn says:

    Totally get this post. Read the first book in like 5 days and the next 2 in the space of a week. So ridiculous but so addictive.

  3. Nayes says:

    I have too much to say about these books. I know my long lectures on WTF is going on in them are annoying my husband. Every time I tell a new person about how I can’t figure out why these books are supposedly “saving marriages” (seriously – are psychiatrists going to start recommending them now??!) my husband goes “and yet you’re STILL talking about it.” I have run out of words now.

  4. Amy@New Adventures says:

    Seeing as i am currently totally baking a bun in my baby oven, i dont think i need any extra ideas to help me along in the bedroom! However, even if i did, i’m not sure i can get past the incredibly bad writing i’ve heard about…

    Also, just to check in – 6weeks5days and counting down til my due date… please baby, get out early! 🙂

    • Shebee says:

      Aims, I am fully qualified to say this: you do not want your baby to come earlier than she’s supposed to 😛
      Hang in there my lovely, you’ll be fine. xoxo

      • Amy@New Adventures says:

        I know my chicky – i’m not talking SUPER early, i’m talking maybe 2 weeks before her due date, just like her brother did. Lets just say once i hit ” full term ” at 37 weeks there will be lots of spicy food, long walks and sex at my house!

  5. Tertia says:

    I caved! I just finished the first one. My opinion: Written about as well as a Mills and Boon novel, but damn fun to read!

    It is not deep and meaningful, it is not well written at all. All that it is is a bit of frivolous mommy-porn and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    Also, well done to the author because she has obviously got the formula right. Whether it is shite or not, people are buying the books like mad so she has obviously done something right.

    PS I’d shag Christian Gray, just with less of the BDSM stuff. I think I’d punch anyone who tried to smack my butt. OUCH!

    • Shebee says:

      Haha! Tersh, I’d shag him too. Maybe even with a bit of spanking. After all, who doesn’t love a man who can go for round two, three and four within minutes of each other.

      *Jokes! It’s exhausting! How awful. I’d never want something like that.

      ** Above disclaimer in case Jon decides to read the comments. *suspicious eyes*

Comments are closed.