50 things about me

I’m going to try keep them short because, damn, there’s 50 of the bloody things!

1. I’m an avid reader. I love big, thick, erect ones (books, you uncouthe individual!).
2. I don’t drink nearly enough water as I should.
3. Misshaped and incorrect coloured jelly babies amuse me, even though I despise sweets.
4. Other than panado’s I never use conventional medication. I’m a homoeopathy fan.
5. Both my baby fingers are scew.
6. I’m really, really half blind. My one eye is -6 and the other is -12. Without my glasses or contacts, everything further than half a metre is a blur.
7. I’m a freckly fucker. I have the damn things everywhere.
8. My hair is curly by nature. I hate it.
9. I hardly ever verbally swear without being irritated or angry.
10. I never liked girls much when I was younger, all my friends at school were male, barring one or two.
11. I fall in love with difficulty.
12. Once I have fallen, I’m fiercly loyal.
13. My great aunty had an affair, her husband found out and shot the boyfriend, then her, then himself. Fantastic role models they are, those hillbillies.
14. I don’t know anyone in real life that has aids. I wonder if it really is as rife as they say. I know a lot of people.
15. I hate anyone touching my stomache. At all.
16. My back loves attention. Stroke it, rub it, tickle it, stand on it. I don’t mind at all.
17. My first job ever got me into drugs for the first time.
18. The reason I stopped taking them was because I landed in hospital over new years, unconscious.
19. By the age of sixteen, I knew what a hairy gonzales was.
20. I regard some of my greater friends closer to me than most, despite not having met them.
21. I only have two friends who are my age or younger, the rest are much older.
22. If I ever have a son, he will be named Nazareth. Not.
23. 7 is my favourite number – because it rhymes with heaven. How hypocritical of me. It was also Kiera’s birth date.
24. My book really is called ‘If these walls could talk’ and this year is the year it will be published, come hell or high water.
24. I think the name St. John (pronounced Sinjin) is absolutely bloody ridiculous.
25. I love the colour yellow, and one day plan to find the perfect shoe in it.
26. I love music. It speaks to me. I sometimes name it. ‘Andrew song’, ‘NightInToiletStall song’ etc.
27. When I smell lavendar in any form, shape or size I think of my daughter. Every time.
28. The worst thing I have ever eaten was a mushroom. Yuck.
29. Fish freak me out. I’m sure you know this already, but seriously – its getting worse with age.
30. My car is dark blue and I love it, I’m looking for a name, so far I’ve only had one suggestion and it sucked.
31. Ryan Kankowski is my sporting hero and I swoon for him. Dreamy Sigh.
32. The first person I’m sending a copy of my book to will be my English teacher from school. She used to make me fudge. I heart her.
33. I’m a label picker-offer. It annoys everyone around me when we go out. That bullshit about being a virgin if you get the label off the bottle without breaking is so sadly untrue.
34. I can name each person I have ever snogged.
35. I hate the word ‘snogged’. That and ‘kerfoofel’.
36. Right now I am typing this list on my baby brothers bed which has the hulk all over it. Surely that fashion trend is over?
37. My mom and I laugh a lot when we’re together. People stare occassionally.
38. I need a new vibrator. Mine broke.
39. That last one threw ya, admit it.
40. I’ve had back pain for the last 10 years due to illegally jumping off a bridge with my mates.
41. The only family tradition I have is ‘punch-buggy-niggs’ and hearing my birth story once a year, every year.
42. I can click every bone in my body. Its awesome.
43. I have way too much compassion for people, it gets me in trouble often.
44. The game of cricket goes way over my head. A bunch of pricks stand on a field wearing white in the blazing sun, chasing after a tiny ball the colour of an apple and shouting ‘howzAAAAAT’ while rubbing their crotches in between batting?! Yawn inducing!
45. Moths are disgusting creatures. I often find myself asking why they were put on earth. Really, do they even have a purpose other than to annoy the befuckery out of me?
46. My eyelashes are quite longish. If I have mascara on I can’t wear glasses.
47. My five year plan is to be successful enough to want to settle down and start a family without the pressures of finance.
48. Currently, all I have left to my name is my car, a leather lounge suite, a few personal items & my clothes. Fuck it, thats annoying. All that money spent on furnishing my home pissed down the drain because I went and got myself retrenched and had to give up my stuff due to moving.
49. My dream job is to cook 3 days for my own restuarant and write the rest of the week.
50. This list was harder than it looks to type out. You better have read each number!

This tag took me ages!  I won’t name and shame anyone here, but if you decide to do it, link back and let me know.