Photo from my shoot for Cleo Mag this morning.

Being an awesome woman. And stuff.

Just had my monthly waxial. Hurt like a motherbitchbastardwhore!  I love my regular chickie, though.  She swears right along side me as she rips the strips off. We die laughing.  Why is it so hard being a woman?  I mean, I know why, but whyyyyyyyyyyy?  Between having an ache in your boobs, period pains and the absolute forced issue of tampons, at this rate I’d trade it all in for penis.  Although I’m not sure Jon would agree.

My feet are covered in blisters too.  Because you know those awesome shoes I told you about from my shopping spree a few weeks back?  The product of me not having any money in my account is that I also have to deal with raw and ugly looking blisters.  Yay, being a woman.

I have a photo shoot tomorrow morning.  For Cleo magazine.  Because I’m one of SA’s most personal bloggers, apparently.  Or something.  Hey – here, have a tampon post!

On Friday I fly to Cape Town after MCing an event here at work.  We’re having a talent show between the aquanauts.  Since the rest of the itteh bitteh entertainment committeh I’m on said that me jiggling my boobs and swaying my right foot at the same time was not a talent, I got nomnomnominated to be the MC instead.  But I’m not allowed to swear apparently.  Readers, you know that means I’m going to floek my fanny off, right?  I’ll be all ‘Hello fuckers & welcome to the annual fucking aqua talent show, bitches!’.  I’m just kidding.

So yeah, MC the event, rush to the Gautrain station, take a train, jump on a plane, pass the birds and land just in time for tequila shots with Suetjie & all her birthday mates.  Busy day!

After that I’ll be lecturing (totally professionally) CPUT students on the art of blogging until Wednesday.  Because clearly I am awesome and a blogger to be reckoned with.  That’s when I remember I’m a blogger, of course.

So all of the above just means that I’ve given myself an excuse to not be around until Thursday, really.

Lets have a conference, guys!  It’ll be all proper and stuff.  Here’s what the agenda should look like:

4pm: Breakfast.  But don’t be late.  If you’re hungover from the arrivals meet & greet, you can maybe (just maybe) push it til 5pm, latest.  But that’s the absolute limit – we’re here for a very serious reason!

7pm: pre-drinks.

9pm: blogger networking, where we will be discussing stuff and things and topics and whatnot.

2am: Macky Dees drive through in convoy (team building!)

3am: break.

What do you think?  Who wants to attend?

PS: I have started drinking again.  Can you tell?

PPS: “Drinking” for me, of course, means I have 2 drinks and pass out.  Cheap date!

I’m so excite!

Remember I told you I was flying up to Cape Town for the blogging lecture?  Well the whole trip got even more exciting.  I happened to skype Suetjie to organise a dinner with her and we got chatting.  It turns out that just 2 days before I fly down, she’s celebrating a milestone birthday bash.  So after a bit of complotting, emails and two phone calls, I changed my flights to arrive just in time for her birthday bash!

I haven’t seen Suetjie since Cath & I lived together over three years ago, I think.  I’m bad with timing, but it feels that long.  The best bit?  We’re staying in some lahdeedah guest house for the weekend in Camps Bay.  Yay for time out with mah buddies!

How brilliant man.  I’m about to pee in my pants!

Ps: if you’re in the mood to lose a few braincells, click this link:

Love how awkward she looks throughout the entire video! Like she’s got a carrot up her bum!

Blog envy & blockage.

I have the urge to write, but I’m really battling with writers block, so I’m just going to sit here typing until some of this shit makes sense.  Or doesn’t, whatever, but I’ll be sitting here typing either way.

I have blog envy – I’ve just skim-read a bunch of my regular bloggers and you’re all writing away and being all bloggy awesomesauce and it feels like after 7 years, I don’t know what to write about anymore, and every time I want to write about something I get the feeling that I should leave it and rather use it in my book/novel/manuscript/thinger.  Which is laughable, since I’ve forfeited my book contract (3 years ago already) by not actually writing the frigging thing.

But the itch is still there.  So I’m going to scratch it.  This weekend.  Or tomorrow.

Yeah… 15 minutes.  That’s how long I’ve sat here.  I think I’ve just decided to finally write that book I’ve been bleating about for years.  Booya!

Hello there, you’re looking so saxy!

Well hi!  My name is Sheena.  I’m, like, totally in the dog box, aren’t I?  Sigh.  I’m really sorry, reader base of two.

Oh, is there only one of you now?  I’m sorry Pats.

Anyway! What’s been going awwwn, blog?  Feels like it’s been forever!

Jon and I are good.  Really good.  I like him, he can stay.

I went to Durbs for a day and a half last week.  For a court case.  What an unfortunate reason, but I’m so glad I went.  Got to spend total quality time with my mom and made up for all the tension we had in December.  She’s so special, my mom.  I really am quite fond of her.  I also spent waaaaay more money on stylish shoes than I should have, I got a full 6 pairs of brand new spanking shoes.  [Speaking of stylish shoes...] Two of the six pairs I bought are purple, that’s how awesome I am right now.  So as much as I love living in Joburg, the fongkong shops in my home town are much better, and the guys behind the counter are totally not cared how much money you’re spending either, they have a ‘fuck off’ expression no matter who you are, or how much plastic you’re waving around at the till.  Ah, KZN, my gorgeous little province…

I fly to Cape Town in two weeks, I’ve been asked to lecture the Cape Peninsula University of Tech on the culture of blogging.  Hilarious since this blog post is my way of trying to sheepishly sneak back into the world of blogging without my absence thereof being noticed.  Haaaai!

What’s also hilarious is the fact that I, a drop out kid who didn’t finish high school, am lecturing tertiary students.  Haaa haaa haaa, bitches.  Not bad, me, not bad at all.  Especially since I’ve been out of school for 11 years [Holy crap!  ELEVEN YEARS?!  WHAT THE HELL!] and only some of my brainz have fallen out.

Okay, that’s it for me, I gotta finish a report that was due an hour ago.  Love you all, please update me on how you are doing since I haven’t managed to read any blogs lately?  I’ll be around soon, promise!

xx