4
Feel UR Boobies!
If you don’t support this right fucking now, women in Sudan will have their titties fall off. True story. http://twb.ly/aZFP7a
4
Inner earphones = raped and pillaged.
I wanna go to the ohlookakitty! I keep getting distracted, it’s ridiculous. I am still forgetful like nobody’s business. Like, for example, the other day… fuck. I forgot which example I wanted to use. I keep trying to remember the things I’ve forgotten. It’s like there’s a midget in my head and he finds a thought, captures it, ties it up with rope and laughs evily as he throws it out of my left ear with a spade made of gold. Or something.
Some girl at work used my fucken in-ear earphones while I was off sick last week. WHAT THE FUCK?! Who does that? Seriously, who? Is that even a human thing to do? Fucking hell! I am shocked. Obviously I can now never use these things again. I’m too scared to even touch them. Inner ear germs and brain juice? No thanks. Fucking hell!
On Saturday I will be devoting my day to a charity thingum. Gonna spend the day with orphan kids in Soweto. I decided my soul needs it.
Ja. So there. A blog post full of goodness and wit.
*bows*
1
On chilled tobacco…
This morning, I spent 20 minutes hunting for my smokes. I know for a fact that I left them upstairs last night because at midnight, I was on the deck smoking while skyping with Heidi. Neither of us could sleep.
This morning, I can’t find the fuckers ANYWHERE.
Eventually Gloria asks me why I’m not in bed “why are you moving? Yonathan he told me you sick, go sleep!”
I told her I couldn’t find my smokes and I was desperate, if she didn’t know where they were either, I said I was going to drive to the shops.
Gloria: No, wait. I know him.
Me: That’s great, Gloria, but I just want a smoke now. I’ll be back in 5 minutes.
Gloria: I know him, it’s on the fridge.
On the fridge? Seriously? I can’t even reach that high. Turns out, on closer inspection, they weren’t “on the fridge” they were INSIDE THE FRIDGE. Or at least, the empty packet was.
The closed, full, brand new packet? Oh, she threw that away. No really, she did. I’m not even lying to you.
