So much of the busy…

So today sees the final day I will be working with my partner in crime, Jessie the SuperCopyGurl.  She’s off to bigger and better things, she says.  WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SHE DOESN’T WANT TO WORK WITH ME ANY MORE.  SHE DOESN’T LOVE ME! I’ll try not take that personally.  Jessie I’m going to miss you my fliend.  So much.  No more gossiping, no more milliontyseven smoke breaks.  No more morning coffee to catch up on the 10 hours we hadn’t seen each other because we’d been, oh I dunno, sleeping?  Good luck dude.  Have fun and carry teh awesome with you.

In other words, I’ve been interviewing for Jessie’s position for the last month.  Some candidates (read: a total of two) out of the thirty odd are very cool.  The rest? Not so much! Seriously, who applies to a DIGITAL AGENCY for a SOCIAL MEDIA POSITION and doesn’t PUT THEIR FUCKING ONLINE LINKS IN THEIR CV?! Oh, you want to work with me in Social Media? You’re not on Facebook? You’re pulling my leg… Oh, you’re serious.  Um.  Hah hah.  GTFO!

I’m working on two very awesome campaigns at the moment.  One of them involves me going to Cape Town next week.  I’ll get to hang out with my mate Talfer again, it’s been about two years since I last saw him.  Also, I’m lucky enough to have been set up to meet the actors of The A-Team, hang out with them for a couple of days and generally just hobnob with the glittery and glamorous people.  And get paid at the same time.  Haha.  I get paid to do this?  Stop playing!

The other campaign is something really close to my heart.  It’s all about people with vaginas.  Yep.  Women’s Day is coming up, see, so I’ve been brainstorming and staying at work late and calling in favours and arguing with designers and shouting with team members and laughing and scheming.  I absolutely love what I do for a living.  It’s been seven months now and I still pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.  And sometimes I pinch myself when falling asleep on the boardroom table during meetings after long nights, but we won’t talk about that.

Ooh, ooh, I have a new phone!  Yes, another Blackberry.  But this is the new Storm 2 and can I just say?  I AM IN LOVE bitches.  Wow.

Of course, with all of this happening, I’ve skipped two weigh-in classes.  Sigh.  I’m still behaving really well and my jeans are practically falling off me these days which is really cool for my body but not so much for my bank account.

Oh look, our delivery maintenance guy is in a tux.  He’s so swanky.  Shame, he blushed when I told him he looks smart.  I didn’t know black dudes could blush.

I’m on heaving medication, could you tell?  I bet you couldn’t.  Hahaha.

Right.  It’s TGIF.  I’m out of here.  Peace!

Some blog fodder – I have a special fan.

Every now and again I either receive a blog comment or an email of hate.  I’ve been blogging for enough years now to not take it personally and remember that because the internet allows for anonymity people will say whatever they like because they don’t need to put their name behind it.

It has been a while though, since I received something quite as expletive as this email which arrived at my inbox about four minutes ago:

[click on image to enlarge]

Mother of God, someone better give this dude a fucken chill pill, bru.

Humphry Bumphry List

I haven’t done this for a few years, because the last time I did @Cow_Grrrl and a few others went ahead and got me most of what was in my list and although I was beyond grateful, humble and amazed, I felt guilty.  This year, I’m only doing it because everyone who is attending my birthday party has asked me to and since they all read my blog it is the easiest place to put a list.

It’s a list of things I really like, but in no way should any of you feel that you need to buy me a thing for my birthday.  Having friends around and possibly getting lucky that morning will more than make me a happy burp day girl. But if you do feel so inclined, who am I to stop you? So, without further ado, herewith my humphry bumphry wish list:

• Your Comment is Awaiting Moderation T-Shirt (XL) http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/frustrations/e362/
• Catnip Bubbles http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/pets/e17e/
• [book] Spud: Learning to fly
• Amazon.com credit for my kindle
• These awesome earrings:
  • • http://www.etsy.com/listing/44884064/pif-dotted-sky-recycled-paper-earrrings?ref=cat1_gallery_15
    • http://www.starbrightgirl.com/images/trooper.jpg
    • http://www.starbrightgirl.com/images/skellyearrings.jpg
    • http://www.starbrightgirl.com/images/blackroses.jpg<-
    • http://www.starbrightgirl.com/images/twinstars.jpg
• A reading light for my Kindle.  A clip-on* light thingum like this http://www.needbatteries.co.uk/energizer-booklite–booklight-149-p.asp
• Lindt chocolate balls.  Not dark chocolate I hate that, but any other flavours
• Vodacom airtime [I don’t believe in contracts, makes me spend way too much money]
• Bath bubbly stuff – anything in lavender or vanilla – particularly Oh So Heavenly products, LOVE that range – the powder, spritz, creams etc
• Vouchers for massages are ALWAYS welcome. Seriously.

So there you have it.  Some things are practical, some aren’t.  All of them are things I would be very happy with.  If you’d like to come to my birthday party and you haven’t yet received an invite, feel free to mail me – I probably just forgot about you.  But in the most loving and friendly way, of course. Unfortunately, I have sort of requested that kids are left at home.  I’ll explain why in another post.

*The term “Clip-on” will forever more cause me to snort.  My brothers always tell Jon he needs a clip on foreskin.  Geddit? Jewish boyfriend? Clip-on? Sigh.

Have good friends.

One thing my mom always taught me is that your reputation precedes you.  No matter how far you run, it’ll follow and until you rectify it, it’ll never go away.  Another thing she always says is “Never sit on the fence!”.  This weekend I found out that someone close to me has betrayed me.  I can’t say I’m really surprised, because all the signs have been showing up for a while, but I can’t say I’m not hurt either.

I’m so grateful that I have good friends who support me and are loyal no matter what.  Without a second thought my friend stood up for me without knowing all of the facts, but she stood up for me regardless.  Yes, I was betrayed, but more importantly I was backed up by this friend, and that’s what matters to me most.

So in the spirit of never sitting on the fence, and defending my reputation, I’d like to just say that I’m glad I have good friends.

PS: Anglug wedding was awesome.  Separate blog post pending.

A fairytale love story…

When I started blogging officially, oh about five or six years ago, I was lucky enough to earn my first two loyal South African readers.  Their online names were AngelsMind and Glugster.  With them came a few other readers, but Angel and Gluggie were two of the first online people I ever really considered friends offline.

Although I hadn’t met either of them in real life, Angel and I used to furiously comment on each other’s blogs and Gluggie and I used to have drunken Skype chats weekly.  Usually he was the drunk one.  There I was, living in a tiny little dorpie on the South Coast of KZN, working in an art gallery, living my little small town life and getting over the death of my child and not long after, the death of my almost boyfriend, Andrew.  Gluggie was my sanity, amongst other really good friends.  I blogged my life back then, much more so than I do now.  Every little detail of my heart used to go online, and for some reason it didn’t scare Angel or Gluggie away, in fact I believe it made them love me more.

Back then, Angel was a single mommy to her young teenage boy who I affectionately have always called Demon.  Angel and Demon, hehe.  Gluggie was a divorced bachelor with two terrorist dogs and he lived alone.  I used to urge him to go on dates and he used to urge me to stop brooding at home and get out and do something with my life.

There was another blogger, Sweets, who we all adored too.  Sweets decided that she would arrange the first ever get together, now more commonly known to us online folks as a Tweet Up.  And so Sweets, Angel and Gluggie all went to dinner, and Glugs didn’t wear a suit even though he’d been challenged to.  To cut a long story short (mostly because the finer details are now rather hazy), Angel and Glugster saw each other and their eyes made love on the spot.  Or something.

The next day, I had Glugs on Skype and he was all butterflies and rainbows, Sweets says she had Angel on Skype and their conversation was also unicorn vomit and fairy pooh.  After some coaxing from Sweets and I, Angel and Gluggie started dating.

And that, as they say, is how the cookie crumbled was the start to a happily ever after for my very dear friends.  A few years on, while we all still blog and have the occasional Skype chat, we get to sit in each other’s company face to face more often.

It seems that sometimes friends do actually take each other’s advice… I listened to Gluggie and stopped moping around at home and got on with my life and did something meaningful (I mean look at me now, living it up in the Big Smoke of Hoburg!) and he listened to me: he and Angel get  married to each other in two more sleeps!

My friends, I love you.  So much.  I could honestly not name one other couple that deserve this more.  You’ve been an inspiration to so many people through your friendship, your support, your kindness and most of all, your love.

Thank you for sharing your day with us, and I feel so honoured to be a witness to your special day.  Congratulations!

<3 <3 <3

For those of you who would like to also share a bit of their love, Angel and Gluggie are live streaming their wedding here, so tune in on Saturday to see us celebrate our friends matrimonial ball chain ceremony.

Girls don’t fart.

Growing up with four brothers, I was subjected to burping and farting in the extreme.  It’s not something I appreciate, by any means, but with four brothers who are all taller and bigger and stronger than you, who will sit on your head if you so much as bat an eyelid at their bodily expressions, whaddayagonnado?

Of course, I have never farted in my life ever, so I’m not quite sure what all the fuss is about but the boys always seemed to look incredibly proud of themselves and often slapped each other on the back in between air high-fives, so I suppose there must be something to it.  If you’re a guy.

If you’re a girl, it is unacceptable.  Except, evidently, for Tracy-Lee here:

Hahahahahaaaaah.

*snorts*

*sniggers*

*wipes tears*

Yes I know, I’m going to hell.  It’s fine, my friends, we’ll all carpool.

New blog design

Thanks to the awesome Ches for designing the header.

You can go to www.neontiger.co.za for all your design work – he rocks.

It’s still a work in progress obviously, but if you can think of anything that needs work, please do a line in the comments section

Dogturd Squarecakes.

The lamp looked a bit scuffed and Jon wasn’t that sold on it until he suggested that we could repaint it to match the walls! I was in my element.  I’m not a huge girly girl when it comes to shopping and I don’t like spending hours and hours in a mall unless I have a reason, demand and need for listed items on a piece of paper.  Except for when it’s home shopping.  Then I can hover over tiny little candle holders, drool at dish cloths, measure up different coloured glasses until the cows come home, much to Jon’s chagrin (and credit card).

When we got home I painted the lamp shade using the left over wall paint from a few weeks ago.  Let me just make that a bit clearer: I, Sheena Gates blogger extraordinaire and one who usually chooses series or books over any physical domesticity, painted something.  And didn’t spill the paint over onto the floor*.

The following day, still craving to prove my prowess in the kitchen, I decided I would bake cupcakes.  For Jon to take to work, cos I love the guys he works with, they’re hilarious.

Let me just say this right upfront, okay: I am no Cupcake Lady, that’s for damn sure.

This was my inspiration:

Inspiration: Beautiful and inspirational.

Delicious little chocolate iced berry cupcakes.  So I mixed up the batter, blended a few berries, beat up the eggs and got my kitchen awn, yo.  Wanna know what my result was?

Result: Oh yes. I'm awesome.

Flat.  Lifeless. Rubbery. Square cakes.

I called Jon down to come witness my domestic goddessery, he instantly put on that panicked expression guys get when they’re not quite sure which is the lesser evil reaction.  When he saw the twinkle in my eye after I’d seriously asked him what he thought of my cupcakes, he breathed a sigh of relief and said something about how enterprising I am, starting a new square cupcake trend and alll…

So I think, it can’t get any worse, right?

Wrong!

Enter the icing…

Dog turd on a square cake, anyone?

No really, this is what they actually looked like.  At this stage, Jon saw what I was doing and couldn’t be diplomatic any more.  He sniggered and snorted and wheezed and guffawed.  And then he sobered up and said, with much concern and consternation,  ”Sweetheart, I love you for trying, but do I really have to take these to work?”  That asshole.

So really, who wants my cupcakes?  Cos the cats turned their nose up and my boyfriend won’t even pretend to try and eat them.

*As per the vote of confidence, via sms from Cath.

I know, I know…

The blog looks whack, I know.  I kind of forgot to save everything as it was before I started fiddling.  My bad.

The good news is that I’m working on such a kiff new design it makes me happy in my special place.

In the meantime, I thought I’d send through a quick update:

• Went to the coast to see my family (Yay!)
• Jon has a broken thumb.  Snigger.  It’s his first broken bone ever! If we have kids one day, please pray that they take after his genes and not mine.  Poor little critters otherwise.  Anyway, he’s been very brave about the whole thing and rather proud of his fractured (“IN TWO PLACES!”) little fifth digit that I find myself almost constantly wanting to congratulate him.
• My brothers got pickled and arrested themselves.  Also, one of them came out of the police van wearing a girl’s hoodie which had been bitten by a dog.  Apparently it smelt “beautiful” and was very “Ayoba!”. At least I know I’ve rubbed off on them in some ways – hey, I run the Ayoba! campaign – I have influenced them.
• My mom is looking HOT.  She’s a milf.  And she went on a day-time date and the dude said “Oi loik whot I can see, veddy much.  Can I take you to dinner?”. Oh mah gawd.  Plus apparently he wore big, thick, gold chains which I’m sure were veddy mooi.  But jokes aside, I’m all for it if it means my mom will be spoiled and treated a bit and can find some nice companionship in a male.  So they can knit together.  Cos thats all she should be doing at her age, milf or not!
• I have been in bed sick ALL FREAKING WEEK!  Thanks to my Jew.  Jewish flu is the worst, let me tell you.  I have a constant sore throat, my head is pounding and I have had no choice but to eat chocolates and bread and cheese and maybe even one can of coke to wash it all down, several times.  Hence the reason I am thus blogging instead of weighing in on a Thursday night.  I’m too scared to face the little Irish granny!
• My cats terrify my housemate’s dog.  It’s too funny to watch.  He sticks his nose through the door and gets all puppy like and wags his tail and the cats crouch down and attach like ninjas.  Three minutes later he’s back for more.  Silly canine.  It has been entertaining though, I must admit.

That’s all I can think of for now.  Anything you’d like to tell me?