It were a Debonairs, bru.

I’m going on holiday until the 5th with my favourite people in the world.  We are going to a paradise place much like Mauritius, on a smaller scale.  There will be fish.  Eek.  But there will also be sun, sand, sexy men and lots of coctails. 

I leave in the morning.  I’m so excited – I need a bit of a reality break.  I also need something else, but I won’t say what on here.  Guys – I’m taking a blogging hiatus.  I’ve had enough drama for a while, and the fun has sort of stopped, so I think I should too. 

I will be back I’m sure, you know me – I always have something to say.  Like now, I’m about to share with you a story only possible with me:

I’m now at a net cafe.  Next door is a Spec Savers, cleaning my glasses and putting a new thingie on the thingie that goes on my nose.  I am half blind, and half blurry.  I walk into what I thought was a net cafe place and ask them to please point me in the direction of a PC so I may check my emails.  It was a debonairs pizza parlour.  No wonder it smelt so good.  I’m still blushing.

Alright.  Keep it real.  You know I will.

I survived the weekend!

Yes, I did.  I caved, I hibernated, I laughed and I loved.

Once again, you guys have managed to make me giggle with the comments on the previous post, thank you.

Just a short note to let you know that I’ve finished working, and am still out there hunting for a job – EMPLOY ME PEOPLE!  At this rate I am considering being a car guard.  Anyone need car-guardation?  Hee hee.

I’m alive and well, everything is good and life is fantastic.  Chat to you all soon  

There she was, with a ribbon in her hair, singing doo wa deedi dum

See?  I can stand up for myself.  I know I’m nice and stuff, but if you fuck with me, I’ll fuck with you.  He didn’t expect me to actually do anything when he called me a CNUT (rearranged) or a liar.  Or how about that sentence of bringing up Andrew just to piss me off?  Fuck him.  He’s banned, he’s out of pocket, and he’s lost a string of business deals just because he was alllll fucked up.

My friends know that I go quiet when I’m angry.  Thats right, I said FRIENDS.  How many of those do you think he has?  None, I can assure you.  So, bottom line, Crappo Catto – you pissed me off.  I dealt with it.  You’ve run around your computer screen following all my incoming links of support and discussion and I bet you sat there with your finger in your mouth going ‘what the fuck?!  I didn’t expect that!‘  You no longer have me as a client, nor a “close friend” and you’re probably less likely to find anyone else out there on this here internetz who would willingly believe a word you said.  Unlucky, chucky.  Next time try not being such a complete fucking doos, m’kay?

Just to clear the record – my integrity is still intact.  Yes, my mate might have dealt with diamonds, but he’s legal now.  As for my last job – hysterical to think that I was supposedly being paid illegal money.  Pah!  I worked hard, and so did my boss.  Even the offshore account this asshole brings up was all done by the book.  So much for lacking integrity.  I cannot actually comprehend some people think I am this dudes alter ego!  Good fucking gracious.

I hereby declare this war over.  I also declare myself the winner.  I came out on top, dignity intact, and despite embarrassing bullshit being said, I still hold my head up high.  I can continue with my writing (which if you actually don’t believe is truthful – you shouldn’t be here) and enjoy myself. Yes.  Sorry for you, bru.

Now, onto greater things.

Welcome back to my old readers.  Please stick around to the new ones, and remember that my one true statement is ‘I am me, and no one else’.  If you cannot deal with this, have a nice life.  I don’t need you here.  To quote dear old darling 6000 – I am my number one reader.  Character flaws include spelling errors and typos.  I write because its my passion.  I blog because its fun.  If the fun times stop, so do I.  I am here for your entertainment, and I love what I do.  So should you.  I understand that I won’t please everyone, and that really is okay.  As long as I am left in peace, I’ll leave you in yours too.

Please forgive me for comment moderations.  I am sure you can understand why, given the circumstances.  I promise to have no more Catto talk after this, because, damn – I am SO sick of it.

Anyway, I was accosted by a giant killer moth on Friday night, then a lizard fell onto me from the roof and got stuck between my toes.  Can you imagine how I turned into a girl and screamed?  I can.  So can Kim.  Sorry hun.  Hope your ear has stopped buzzing.  I am moving to Durban this weekend!  Yay!  Wish me and Cath luck, I’m sure we will need it.  At some point, after we’ve recovered from the SheenaPina party.

Final note, a special mention of thanks to Attorney Paul Jacobson who has advised me through this ordeal.  Thank you to everyone (you know who you all are) for your assistance.  He might have held me back for a week, but those who matter know the truth and thats what counts.  The calls of support and love and messages I have received have all meant so much to me.  Thank you.

Welcome to Sheena’s fake blog

Where hardly anything you read is real.

I’m sorry readers

I have an annoying problem.  My account gets suspended willy-nilly, the host seems to think its funny to hack into my blog and write posts, specifically after I made it very clear for him to a) leave me the fuck alone and b) have witnesses as to how little I wanted any contributors on this site. Nothing is sacred here, and I have no faith in my passwords anymore.  This site has been compromised, and as such might be down for a little bit.  Please be patient.

Thank god I have made back ups of everything, included html design and such, in case the host decides to go with his insane inner thoughts and has another attack of sour grapes and take it out on ifthesewallscouldtalk.co.za

I’d already found a web host group that isn’t prone to unprofessionally deleting their clients sites on a whim before he so whimsically sent me notice via email last night and then suddenly changed his mind and re-added himself to administrative rights.

I’m here to write.  For my readers, yes, but mostly for me.  Lets also not forget that the majority of my blog posts are a basis for my book.  I also happen to own my domain, so what Richard Catto is doing is akin to breaking and entering. This is officially my DO NOT DISTURB sign. 

Richard, since you stalk me here, this is officially your notice.

YOU’RE FIRED!

Don’t even think about suspending my account, I have over paid you for this month, as you well know, and if you cut off the service, you are stealing from me.  You have infringed my legal rights as a client, and completely disgusted me as "friend".  It ends, NOW.

If you fuck with me again, I will take this further.  

Quote of the day

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The things I do for Nic Harry…

…only because I haven’t learned how to say no to the man yet. The man tagged me. Now, before all you other dudes start moaning because I haven’t done YOUR tags, nigger- please, he is Nic Harry. The man is a genius, plus he’s greek – which automagically makes him divine. My cyber crush just keeps getting bigger and bigger.

Anyway, he went to a 1st birthday party, and instead of buying the kid lame toys and clothes, he bought him his first two albums. *Swoon* Back to the tag, I shall list my choice of albums to influence my kid, should I ever choose to have one (again):

Because this woman sings my life.

Even though he changed his religion, ate more curry and sang about his wife and son a lot, my dad loved him to bits, and I will always remember the happy times because of that.

This man created coolnessness.  I learned how to be angry thru Eminem.

Ahhhh.  Laina!!!! I miss you!

Tracy, you bitch, my ex loved you more than me!  but that song, what was it?  "pack my bags and into the city…daddys too old for working, mommas to young to be lookin like him".  LOVE IT. 

others would include REM, Black Eyed Peas, Justin Timberlake & Sheryl Crowe. I got bored looking for album covers, Nic, ma bad, dawg.

Basically, everything I chose holds memories and feelings for me.  I would want to pass that on to my offspring.

Okthxbi.

Why I love my new flatmate to the ends of the earth and half way to venus

• I will never, ever make happiness by the body on your linen or bed or in your room.
• FEET BELONG ON THE COUCH.
• Your bedroom key and my bedroom key are the same. Its like this so that I can snoop through your stuff and nick your drugs. No, im joking fucktard, it’s a security measure so that we can get into each others room at any time and hide if needed.
• I still use a baby monitor for Cameron. I aim to use it until she is 42 years old
• I keep a notebook in the kitchen for when ‘inspiration’ hits. It’s in the third drawer and you are welcome to use it too.
• Armand.  Russel.  Just spun a fucking cocoon.
• *dead on desk with laughter*
• I FUCKING LOVE YOU SHEENA GATES. DO YOU HEAR ME? FOR ALL OF YOUR CRAZINESS, DISCOHORDINATION AND EVEN YOUR CREATIVE DRESSING. EVEN YOUR HORRIBLE JEANS WITH SUSPENDERS ON.  WILL EVEN WEAR THEM WITH YOU IF I MUST*. 
  

*using memory for that last sentence.  Correct if wrong.

She’s fabulous.  Her daughter is fabulous.  Her friends are fabulous.  Strangely enough, some of them are already mine, from another time.  Weirdness.  God I’m impatient now!

My favourite site of the moment

is here.  Go check them spring leapers out.  I got the following from them.  Thanks Eric!

So appropriate for my mood today.