19 weeks

In my 19th week of pregnancy, I find myself alone at home most of the time.  I’m on bed rest, you see.  Which sounds wonderful at first – some time to catch up on reading, watch a few series, rest up a bit, put your feet up… except, NOT SO MUCH.  I’m in week three.  Three weeks of not leaving the house barring one quick visit to the doctor.  Three weeks of not being allowed to sit up straight for more than 30 minutes at a time.  Three weeks of not being able to browse baby shops, go to the office, see people face to face, three weeks of being flat on my back.

I have written and rewritten and deleted and saved-to-drafts this post six times now.  I’m uncertain because as much as I want to document my experience, I am so absolutely terrified of attracting any negative energy or attention in any way.  I’ve also been afraid that if I type it out loud, it becomes real, and then people pity or worry or think negative things like “oh, she’s so early she’ll never make it to the end”. But the thing is, I fucking will.  I will make it to as far as I need to for this baby to bake enough. Because I have a will of mothereffing steel, ok. And I have a whole team behind me.  First and foremost, Jon of Team Kretzmer. Team Kretzmer is formidable, you guys, and it operates as follows:

Baby Kretzmer’s role is to just chill inside there and let himself be baked.  Every now and again when Jon pokes around the tummy to feel where the baby is, baby is expected to move about to reassure his (neurotic) parents he’s cool.

My role is to lie here like a beluga whale and consume food and stay on my back.  My role, whilst frustrating on the best of days, is probably the easiest.  I channel love and good vibes to the baby, try and put on a smile when Jon comes home at the end of the day, and am working on my laptop from home.  Work is keeping me sane at the moment, and when things get really monotonous, I think up excuses to do conference calls with work colleagues.

Jon’s role is the hardest.  He is carrying the mother-load of responsibilities.  He works, he shops, he cleans, he cooks, he has to go shopping for me (I sent him to buy bubble bath the other day.  Sigh.  He came home with a family sized no name brand that was blue, I was very sad.  At least it smells good though), he feeds me, he jumps up and down a million times at home to fetch me things, and he is in charge of the whole outside world, for me.  Plus he’s the one running around meeting lawyers and estate agents and signing things willy-nilly for the house admin.  Because don’t forget, in and amongst this mayhem, we’ve sold a house and bought a new one and are meant to be moving in 4 weeks and have yet to start packing.

On top of this all, he does it with love in his eyes and an eternity of patience. The man deserves a medal, truly.  He even finds it in himself to make me laugh.  I truly, truly, hit the jackpot with this husband of mine.

So that’s life.  The good news is that baby is growing so beautifully, and he’s so active and big for his gestation.  We’ve started narrowing down on his name, and we might have even found a Rabbi who is prepared to do the bris, even though I’m not Jewish.  We’ll see.

In the meantime, I’m learning all kinds of patience, how to envision this baby to life, and imagining life in our new home, with our new child, in just a few months time.

Send eBook suggestions please.




  1. Cath says:

    You will:

    1) Hire a moving company to pack and move you. End of. I’m sure Jon will agree with me on this.
    2) Stay there and watch all the AbFab episodes, and the TV specials and the YouTube clips.
    3) Rewatch the entirety of Dawsons Creek, but you will NOT name your son Pacey, Dawson or anything like that as a result of it.

    Jon, you’re a mothertrucker legend.
    Sheen, you’re baking a beautiful boy. Please excuse me while I swoon over this.

    • Shebee says:

      @Cath – yes we’ve made peace with the fact that we will need to get a removal company in to pack and unpack.
      Not so much into TV anymore, but am reading lots!

  2. Angel says:

    I can see it! I can see the three of you!
    I see you both covered in baby food when he learns to throw things. I see family selfies every other day. I see you full of spitup from burping a full, sleepy, fat baby boy. I see you both unable to stop gazing at your sleeping baby boy. I see him grinning as you hop on one foot after “finding” the missing Lego with your foot. I see you fighting for space at the front of the school hall to get photos of your boy on stage.
    ALL the positivity and strength and prayers from AnGlug! We can hardly wait!

  3. Michelle says:

    Thinking of you guys all the time. And yes, how amazing is your husband. And that is why you are baking the most beautiful and perfect little boy and everything is going to be just fine. With the moving, with the shopping. just everything.

    Also, I have a TON of ebooks. Want some? 😀

  4. Theresa says:

    Oh boy now I’m all teary…I can see all those things for you too. So excited as well!! Choosing a name is one of the coolest preparations!! Read away while you can. I recommend Bringing up Boys. Even if you don’t read it from his religious view…he has other valid points! Xx sending so much love.

  5. Kerry says:

    Wow! Huge kudos to Jon – you really did score yourself a winner/keeper there – and a sterling example to every other man ever 😉
    And. All the very best to you as you bake your precious bundle. He’s going to be perfect, because he has the love of a wonderful mamma and daddy already encouraging him on.
    Lots of love to all three of you!

  6. cat@jugglingact says:

    All WILL be well and although I was only on bed rest for 3 weeks I know it can be incredibly frustrating. After all – you want to shop for your baby, decorate, nest some. Alas you just have to bake baby.

    Some book suggestions: The Rosie project and The Rosie Effect after and Waiting for Christopher by Sam Cowen is very funny

  7. Bridget says:

    The baby baking will go well. It will. So many positive vibes being sent your way!!

    What kinds of books do you like? I’ve enjoyed these recently.
    The photographer’s wife
    The whole divergent series
    The Everman Chronicles (if you like watching game of thrones then this is good but an easier read)
    The gift of rain
    Any jo jo Moyes
    The girl with all the gifts – it’s weird but it’s good
    bellman & black

  8. MeeA says:

    Ah, I’ve been wondering where you were. I’ve been thinking of you a whole lot these past couple of weeks. Hang in there, both of you – I look forward to reading many, many posts about a happy, busy little man soon!

  9. Tara says:

    Well my god woman, how can we send ebook suggestions if you’re not going to specify what you’re in the mood for?

      • Tara says:

        Oh in that case I’ll send you the link to my god awful cheesy favourites lists. You can’t judge me on these. They were selected at various times according to various mood criteria. DON’T BE THAT PERSON.

  10. Momma Bear says:

    My son in law is amazing. Thank you always Jon. Sheen I think sometimes you forget how amazing you are. I have seen the fear, felt the anguish, seen the disappointment. I also know you want to waddle around the shops holding your belly like all pregnant woman do so proudly, but you can not. You amaze me in your determination and your patience. I have seen how you are trying so hard to smile and be happy day in and day out even though you are so stressed and bored I also see how you hold back and keep positive. You have a formidable man and you are a formidable woman. I am so proud of you and while you bake you still manage to ease everyone else into finding some kind of humour “baking” your baba and lots of other things. My darling child what you have done for this child already and what you did for Kiera is already mind blowing. I cannot wait to see what you will do for him as he grows. I love you Sheen and Jon and thank you both for who you are.

  11. Tara says:

    No specific suggestions but pixelofink.com is a site that scours Amazon and finds all the free/$1 books for that day. Lots and lots of trash, but some are fun! Enjoy!

    (PS Sending LOTS of positive energy and good baking vibes your way!)

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